Reflections
I've been meaning to design my projects for some time now. I've done small things, like mapping my life's goals and work based on Permaculture ethics and principles or on my strengths and pleasures. I know, for example, that I need some aspect of creativity built into my work. I found the design questions provided in the Project Management and Design element extremely valuable in brainstorming and digging deeper into the realistic steps I need to take, who I can partner with, and what contingencies may arise.
It was difficult, however, to think of the meta-context. How are my actions affecting the greater scheme of things? This is where I—and most designers—are stuck. I've realized through this process that that is where I need to be. I don't have enough of a solid foundation to take on such massive projects... yet.
I also came to realize that I am not self-disciplined as a direct effect of ignoring my inner voice. I do know what I want, but I am influenced by interpreting the wants of everyone around me. Therefore I sacrifice my plans and schedules to make room for things that hardly serve me.
All in all, this OP has served me greatly and in a timely manner. Somehow, as seems to always be the case with Gaia, the work matches my life (or vice versa, I'm still unsure). I have so many projects blooming right now, they were bursting at the seams before but now with this clear vision and process laid out before me I feel powerful and well-equipped. Now, back to implementation...
A thought on complexity
It occurred to me while designing my future that I live in a scenario where my needs are met at the cost of the Earth. This is a complex thought.
By having water at a faucet, water for bathing, water for flushing my waste; with dinosaur bones to heat my home and dams and nuclear plants to light my dinners; with clothing harvested from monocultures and plastics--yet again extracted fossils; while my food shipped from far and wide then easily purchased with money made through disconnected means I am perpetuating a human constructed, complex ecosystem in which "unnecessary" tasks are performed to then trickle their way down to fund our basic needs.
In the old, "simple" ways of meeting our needs we lived near fresh water which we carried to our homes in buckets made of sticks and clay. We hunted for game, grazed the woods for fruits, berries and fungi. And yet it was not simple. It was a complex social program with direct connections to innate needs.
I do not know if the latter is better, though I have strong convictions that our un-wilding has been the cause of many menial, bureaucratic, political, logistical and monetary (to name a few) duties to perform in order to meet our needs.
I perpetuate this system while I remain involved in it. How to escape? Would it be fair to my co-inhabitors, my species? One cannot let go of the biological aim for survival of his or her kin. In evolutionary science, it would appear that we aren't doing so well for ourselves. Where do I fit in?
I see a map of a little Maasai village. It is a spider's web with a drop of dew dolloped on the thread.
I see the sky rise looming over Hong Kong. It is a tangle, moulding in the water it meant to harvest.
Is it me
I wonder sometimes about strengths and weaknesses.
I hear: "Love yourself for who you are," and simultaneously that I should address my shortcomings.
I believe diversity of character makes a strong collaboration. I strive for perfection, but I recognize that I cannot achieve perfection--how could we know what perfection is? Would it not be a stale world were we all perfect?
[I am seeing this in black and white. Perhaps just moral goodness is the goal, not perfection.]
Who is to say that a weakness cannot be used as a strength? In the problem lies the solution--can we not use a personal deficit to our benefit?
Certainly I spend a lot of time-energy pleasing others, leaving little for myself. Theoretically I don't know why I should value myself over the billions of others who inhabit this planet. Hank [my partner] sees this as a fault, a detriment to my well-being. But it makes me happy to make people happy. It also is a direct outcome of my inability to acknowledge my accomplishments. I seek the gratitude and encouragement of everyone around me. I could see this either as a fault or a catalyst for my community work.
Perhaps a balance. I'll look for the balance.
Think and Listen, Maggie McMillan
Maggie's notes on my Thinking... (notes taken by Maggie)
What is going well:
Through doing her LCR, she realized that she needs to take better care of herself and put her needs first (in Zone 00), and through this realization decided to design her LIPD using permaculture zones.
She used these 3 zones:
Zone 00 – 2: Home, business, friends and family.
Zones 3,4: Bioregion, community
Zone 5: Global.
She likes having this framework because it helps her start working and constructing the project. She is excited about the LIPD because she has been meaning to do something similar for herself for a long time. She feels that having a due date and people to give feedback is very positive.
She feels like she's getting better at 'getting it done then getting it good”. She has been making notes to help her with her reflections later.
She has been implementing all the things she's designing as she's designing them and gotten quick feedback.
She finds it a lot easier to navigate Mahara after doing the LCR, everything is a bit more accessible.
Challenging:
She is having trouble being too much of a perfectionist. She finds herself trying to get the final draft done first, which doesn't leave much room for editing. She feels like she's stuck in the old system of grades, and wants to get an A +. She is trying to remember that the OP is not a contract, and can be revised later, like Jennifer said.
She is excited and challenged by the idea that the OP can be revised and changed. It is challenging because she wants to design it so that it has resilience (e.g graphs, skillflex charts that can be quickly updated and built upon) and resilient documentation.
Backcasting is challenging for her. She feels she is not able to dream enough because she is bogged down by the realities of things. In the case of her house project, she feels bogged down by the community and the lack of money and support.
She is really busy with a lot of things on the go. One project that is taking up a lot of emotional energy at the moment is her run for selectman, a huge position.
She is also challenged because of the vast amount of Output Packets. She wants to get really good at using Mahara and being efficient with her time.
Next achievable steps:
She needs to start writing things out on paper instead of typing things out, which she feels will gets things done better (“get it done get it good”) and allows for an editing process.
She needs to start answering questions and backcasting. She also needs to allow herself to dream and believe her dreams are reality by meditating.
She needs to do more think and listens, which she believes are helpful for both people involved and a good asset to her OP.
She wants to find appropriate technology to make Skillflex charts and map out backcasting for easy editing in the future, and make the charts attractive to people reading the OP.
Finally, she wants to hammer down her abstract and summary. They are constantly changing and should be written at the end, but should also be worked on the whole time because it clarifies what needs to be achieved. She wants to work on the abstract summary now and edit it later/make it shorter that the last time.
Think and Listen, Jackson Bicknell
Recorded by Jackson, transcribed by Sophie
1. What are your wildest hopes and dreams?
Create a lifestyle where I would be working with my community but still make global impact.
Perhaps use a community center while being a regional designer.
Also would like to go global with Permaculture using natural builder, anthropologist, teacher trainer, etc. to start PC schools elsewhere that are self-maintaining
Would also like to create local alternative economy: time-banking, gift economy, negative interest.
Wildest dream: make Andover a NH version of Totnes (Transition Town), wonderful ecotopia, resilient community. Then head onto bigger projects once this town is headed in "right" direction.
Want to take really good care of myself, I am my priority so that I can be healthy and make the greatest impact possible.
2. What are the biggest challenges?
Self-care... prevents living up to full potential
Knowledge base: don't know much about legal stuff, policies, loopholes in bureaucratic system
Money
Time
Overbooking: take on so many projects. Need to learn that by saying "No," I am saying "Yes" to something else, and therefor to myself.
Ethics: if I do want to do this global Permaculture school project, I'd have to fly places (unless I sailed/biked..)
Lacking local interest in my projects... Great support network but many don't care about ecological health
3. How can I take better care of myself to make these dreams a reality?
I need more self-discipline. I've designed many ways to take care of myself but I don't follow through. Wish I could design a system where I wasn't bound by a time schedule but did what I'd designed when I felt like doing the things.
Eat better food, slower. However, glad to not be stressed about food.
Wish I exercised more and went outside more.
Wish I listened to my first instinct when asked what I want. I often do know what I want, but so many factors come into play when I'm thinking about it that change my mind... start thinking "What do others want?" It's not fair to myself, and ends up not being fair to other people because I won't be able to give them my full attention and potential when it's not working with my desires.
I wish I were a better listener. So over-booked that my energy is spread thin.
Wish I slept at a regular pace: bed at same time every night so I can wake up early like usual.
Wish I didn't have so many expectations for others. Makes my relationships with others difficult.
Wish I had better self-love and self-acknowledgement so I didn't rely so heavily on others' compliments and recognition. This is the main reason that I am spread thin in time-energy... I feel better when helping others.
Word Count
247OP1B: max. 3500
Summary and Abstract: 247
Core Report: 2947
Reflections: 265
Total: 3459
Digiphon
Mindmap
Open Office
Text Edit
Google Forms
Google Spreadsheet
Time log
[Loosely logged]
Writing: 6 hours
Formatting: 2 hours
Think and Listen: 1 hour
Mindmapping: 4 hours
Editing: 2 hours
Journaling: 1 hour
Total: 16 hours
My design process
VISION
What is my ideal?
What are the abundances I would like to create in my life?
What are my wildest dreams?
HELPS
What are my motivations for changing?
What resources do I have within me?
What external resources are available?
LIMITS
What's holding me back?
What are my limiting factors?
Why would I not want to change?
What concerns do I have?
PATTERNS
What are the current patterns of thinking, behaving and interacting?
What spirals of erosion can I identify?
What would a spiral of abundance look like?
What patterns from nature, other people or different activities could help within my design?
What patterns of success from another area of my life can I translate into my design?
IDEAS
What creative, adventurous, wild and wacky ideas do I have?
What big, little, practical, routine ideas do I have?
What seeds of ideas do I have?
PRINCIPLES (PC)
If I look though the lens of each principle what do I see?
What does it tell me about my current state?
INTEGRATION
How can I integrate the information already gathered?
What are my needs within the design?
What systems could be put in place to meet those needs?
What elements would each system be composed of?
ACTION
What am I going to do and when?
What resources to I need?
What yields and benefits am I going to get?
MOMENTUM
How am I going to maintain momentum?
How am I going to build and increase momentum?
What support might I need to keep moving towards my vision?
APPRECIATIONS
What can I appreciate about myself?
What can I appreciate about other people and the world around me?
How do I feel supported at the moment?
REFLECTION
What is the current situation?
What is going well?
What is challenging?
PAUSE
How can I recharge my batteries?
How can I make times of rest and quiet a built in part of my design?
How can I rejuvenate myself?