Associate Name: Liam McDermott
Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Jennifer Dauksha-English

Output Packet #:  5		Year: MSc Pre-capstone
Date Submitted: March 1, 2014
Date Reviewed: March 7th, 2014
Mark: 72
Grade: B
Time Spent on Review: 3.5 hrs

Dear Liam,

I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to read your Learning Review. It's amazing to think that we've been working together for such a long time already! You've come so very far in so many ways. Thanks for all of your work on both self and planetary levels. I really think you did a good job at presenting your learnings and key outcomes for the phase.

My review is broken into these sections:
1. Evaluation Form 
2. Comments Per Section

Required next step: 
- Read over the review and note that inside the PoDAPO I included areas that I'd like to see you work on in your Capstone Phase. Try to incorporate each of them. Let me know if you have any questions.

Recommended next step:
- I strongly recommend that you go back through this OP and EDIT! There were so many mistakes. They kept increasing with each page I reviewed.

I wanted to also comment on your review of Meredith's OP. I was impressed with how thorough you assessed each criteria. I appreciated how you gave examples of where you saw elements met, or also gave suggestions on how it could be further met or improved upon. Very well done! I feel confident about your role as an upcoming Advisor.

I respect your integrity in managing your pathway. I'm glad to be on this journey with you!

Cheers,
Jennifer

OP REVIEW-------------------------

1. EVALUATION FORM-------------------- 

(attached)

2. COMMENTS PER SECTION---------------
Navigation and Summary
- Great navigation to open the OP! I was impressed by the short descriptions. I wonder though if rather then repeating the section titles over and over if at the top of each section you could name the section - for example: 5.2 Commentary, and then begin to list 5.2.1, etc… Might be helpful to just explicitly say that there are three main sections in the 'how to read this OP'. Also, I don't see where you say anything about using the tabs for navigation.
- Found several grammatical and formatting errors. You have in 5.2.2 Managing capitalized. In how to read this OP you have an extra space before each paragraph 1-2.
- Explain the 5 P's.
- Very good context provided in Summary statement.
- You have the wrong year on summary page. It says 2012 - should it not be 2014?

Introduction
- Once again since this is the introduction to the report, which might be stand alone document - introduce the 5 P's rather then just saying the jargon, the first time you introduce them - not the second. You can also create a glossary and link unfamiliar terms to that glossary or use the Gaia U glossary.
- Nice mind map about learning. Can you contextulaize it a bit more? Why have you included it here at the very beginning - what do you want me as the reader to notice?
- Lovely overview explaining the shift from content to process.
- I like how you keep lining actively back to OPs.

Design Methodology
- I am very pleased by your use of ORGBADIE. I would like to know how does it compare to other models? It has similarities to GaSADIE. Why/how did you choose this pattern?
- Under brainstorm, kiln kite could be capitalized.
- Just noticed the active next links - nice!

Gaia: Designer, Learner, Leader
- To your list of 4 new questions, I would add in the one on impact - How did this impact your worldview, the field and others (in fact you could put all 5 P's listed here). 
- You keep including mind maps without adding much context about what they mean and why they're there. Can you add a bit more weaving? Don't make your graphical images stand on their own - it that's the case put them in supporting evidence.
- Lovely list of Gaia Lenses. How do they play out into your pathway? Do you use these to shape or structure your experience or were they outcomes of the experience, I'm confused.
- Very thorough overview of action learning - Wonderful. I like how you slide into your own preferences. I appreciate your authenticity around getting lost with knowing where to start.
- Ah ok so here you are speaking about the model. I was reading like a newspaper. Did you say in navigation to not read the left column first?
- I love when you say, "My thinker often runs the show." LoL!!
- Is that 10,000 hrs = mastery a common phrase?
- I like the end of this section where you speak on conscious awareness.

Tools of Gaia
- I like the opening of 'Pathway tools Introduced by Gaia' but am confused by the tense and pronouns you are using. Also Tools should be in caps? The paragraph ends with an apostrophe, why? Is this the introduction to this entire page - perhaps have it go across the entire top rather then in column format if so.
- Nice that you reflected on PoDAPO though would be good that you share what it is for the reader. Also, would like to hear an assessment of each - looks like you missed O-Outcomes. In the future consider putting something like this into a table rather then paragraph styled text.
- On competence and attention, you seem to have excelled at balancing these during the advisor training.
- Great overview of key learnings on GTD! I'm glad I was able to help.
- I don't understand why you define Zone 0 but then don't articulate how you engaged with it - seems like a gap.
- Same with Patrix busting - I'm confused by your intent of providing these tools.
- I love the bit on techniques, strategy and design - seems that the later also have time as a dimension.
- I agree that consciousness is an integral part to design. Yet there's a conundrum because if you are improvising you can still be consciously in the present moment. So what's the difference?
- Nice key design outcomes.
- On world views, I resonate with the self fulfilling prophecy bit.

5 P's
- Nice you are a Renaissance man and Wizard!
- Excellent personal development outcomes! Love the bit on baby care! So do you have any plans to have your own soon?
- Under planetary - how are babies a neuroses? Is that a typo?Lots of other typos in this section - EDIT!
- I agree that there is immense skill in being a good support persona and active follower.
- Under peer - how about including an assessment of your engagement in Gaia U/attendance and your local community.
- Wonderful succinct overview of professional gains.
- On political/patrix I like that you so thoroughly share your world views but I'm left wondering - what are you doing about it?

Pathway Journey through OPs
- Encourage you to provide active links to the OP (secret URLs) for easy access.
- Great overview statements (summaries).
- I like that you added the key outcomes for each OP. This section is very good and I like how in OP 4 you split it into core report and OP outcomes.
- What I think is missing here is a conclusive look at patterns of engagement - how did you engage in the early OPs/projects and how did that shift? Through the lens of the OP - consider reflecting on how documenting helped guide your pathway, etc… I'd like some final integrative reflection here.

LIPD Pathway
- Very thorough look at your LIPD. I'm sure that this process well help you in creating a future LIPD.
- I'm glad that you felt supported by the Gaia U process.
- Edit - several mistakes, for example last paragraph moons is spelled oons.
- I would love to see some graphical images here that compare where you were before OP 2 and where you are now - consider how you might track more statistics in the future. Think metrics.
- So overall you met your goals? Because this is just text - it's hard for me to capture that at a glance - not trackable.

Key Outcomes
- So I get the sense that this section is a cumulative reflection drawing on the previous sections. If that's the case I think you should say that explicitly.
- So how does the native wheel fit into the learning review - provide a bit more context and integration.

Behind the Scenes
- OP Process Reflection is useful in that you use 4 AL questions. 
- PreCapstone is considered a phase not a year. 
- I like the reflection on how we retain our learning through this process - I agree.
- You mention how you focused so heavily on learning to learn - this is a great opportunity to turn the patterns you observed into a graphical image, such as a mind map, flow chart or table.
- There are dozens of grammatical errors in this section - EDIT:)
- I agree with Itai that this OP is very word heavy.. How about any cumulative comments on the peer review process in general, and the self/pro too?
- Did you use the same design process to create this OP as you did on the project of reviewing your year?
- Would be good to maybe categorize your annotated resource review by topic or by OP. In the future, for your capstone year, I'd like to see this at least doubled in size. For books, post bibliography or add link to book. Lastly, formatting of this review is a bit unattractive. 

Managing Time/Promises
- I'm glad that the renegotiation on your timing was helpful.
- I'm also glad that the advisor training inspired the direction of the OP.
- The timeline feels like an articulation of your OP design process.
- It's good to hear that OP process is becoming smoother - and that you provided some examples of how that's happening.
- On Digiphon, would be great to see this cumulative - and also a statement about your digital literacy development.
- You have an extra session called Incorporating Peer Feedback that is blank?
- Where is the timeline showing us the entire year?

Supporting Evidence
- Nicely done providing learning through the lens of Permaculture principles! I like that you give examples linked to OP. Sweet reflections on key opportunities.
- Good learnings evidenced and reflected on in journal entries.
- Website is awesome - good work! Great pictures. I especially like the one of you in the kitchen - you look very confident there!  your images on the website take a real long time to load I wonder why? On the food page I'm wondering why you are not advertising yourself as a caterer?