Associate Name: Rex Costello
Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Jennifer Dauksha-English

Output Packet #:  		Year: BSc PreCapstone
Date Submitted: October 4th, 2014
Date Reviewed: October 31st, 2014
Mark: 70
Grade: B
Time Spent on Review: 3.75 hrs

Dear Rex,

I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to read your Output Packet. Thanks for all of your work on both self and planetary levels.

My review is broken into these sections:
1. Evaluation Form 
2. Comments Per Section

Required next step: (the ones in bold are required for this OP and the rest are required for all future OPs)
1. OP design process (your degree is in design and I need you to get good at articulating your design steps and experiment with different models) - from now on this is going to be required in each OP.
2. OP goals and process reflection on whether or not you met these goals. - from now on this is going to be required in each OP.
3. Pathway Reflections (an entire section on how you are managing your pathway, LIPD goals, skills, and engagement). - from now on this is going to be required in each OP.
4. Critical evaluation - did you do any research? Your annotated resource review doesn't contain enough resources. I'm going to ask that you go back into this OP and write a 250-500 word essay on some topic related to your project. You need to reference the work of other musicians. I need you to compare your experience to their work. Add these reference to your resource review.
5. You're also missing your journal entries and evidence of guild participation. - from now on this is going to be required in each OP.
6. You must always post your peer review of your peers OP on your OP page as well. Please upload.

I respect your integrity in managing your pathway. I'm glad to be your advisor!

Cheers,
Jennifer

OP REVIEW-------------------------

1. EVALUATION FORM-------------------- 

(attached)

2. COMMENTS PER SECTION---------------

Summary
- I feel very welcome and invited into your sharing. I like it when people put a lot of inspiration in their opening message.
- Nice link back to past work. I get the sense that your pathway is very integrated.
- Good clear articulation of goals.

Introduction
- I appreciate the context shared that integrates your overall goals for the band with the particulars of making it a reality. I appreciate that you share your understandings around what it takes.
- There are some grammatical errors in this introduction. Second to last sentence of top paragraph "I intend of".
- Good summary of content.

The Journey Begins
- Again, I'm finding some editing mistakes - be sure to run through your work once more to catch these.
- I'm glad you added the side note on cacao because otherwise I was left hanging, wondering what you meant by the relationship.
- Awesome storytelling here! It would be great if you could have fleshed out the key learnings into a list or mind map.

Opportunity Awaits
- Great synopsis of how your time in New Zealand impacted your connection to music and creative vigor.
- I like the reflection on the events you played at a lot and am glad to hear about the differences - I want more comparison here though. What did you learn, what were the outcomes, and how has it shaped where you are at with your music. Maybe this will come in the section on acoustic versus electric. I never saw this section - where is it?
- How awesome that you played live in Laguna!
- On awaken - nice that you harvest the nectar - it feels integrated - though in a way you could've omitted these side stories and focused less on the chronological unfolding of your year and more on the learnings of bringing together the band.

Elements & The Spirit Music
- When you share who is in the band, I immediately wonder what was it about these people that attracted you? What qualities do they poses?
- I'm really digging how thoughtful you're being about the experiences and lessons learned. You share some humbling reflections. I like the 3 bulleted lessons learned. I'd like more of this actually. In some way I'd like for you to tell the story but then share outcomes that are more generalized. What I mean is that I'm really appreciating these specific examples of performance and learning, but what's missing for me is a general overview of your experience as a musician/performer - like - here are the steps and lessons from a meta level (combining all your experience to date). Get my drift?

Organizing A Band
- This section is exactly what I was looking for in relation to the general best practices! 
- Excellent overview of your knowledge. This is very applicable to others.
- I'm so pleased that you included this powerful harvest of learnings.

Shifting Seasons
- More awesome stories. I love the improvisation!

Conclusions & Commentary
- Wow - beautiful of you to serve role of provider but definitely not sustainable. I'm glad that it worked though - it's your baby and sometimes we need to put in the extra energy to make our seeds grow. Blessings in your efforts and actions.
- This commentary is good but insufficient to meet the needs of an OP. You're talking about the steps you took but what is missing is:
1. OP design process (your degree is in design and I need you to get good at articulating your design steps and experiment with different models)
2. OP goals and process reflection on whether or not you met these goals.
3. Pathway Reflections (an entire section on how you are managing your pathway, LIPD goals, skills, and engagement).
4. Critical evaluation - did you do any research? Your annotated resource review doesn't contain enough resources.
5. You're also missing your journal entries and evidence of guild participation.