Associate Name: Liam McDermott
Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Jennifer Dauksha-English

Output Packet #:  	1	Year: MSc Capstone Phase
Date Submitted: November 8th, 2014
Date Reviewed: November 26, 2014
Mark: Pass

Time Spent on Review: 3.75

Liam,

I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to read your LIPD. I think this is your best OP so far - definitely an improvement since your first LIPD. Thanks for all of your work on both self and planetary levels. I appreciate the strategic and thoughtful focus of your capstone phase. I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds. I think your timeline is realistic and anticipate that you'll renegotiate with ease if that's needed.

My review is broken into these sections:
1. Evaluation Form 
2. Comments Per Section

I respect your integrity in managing your pathway. As always, I'm glad to be your advisor! It's been a fun journey so far!

Cheers,
Jennifer

OP REVIEW-------------------------

1. EVALUATION FORM-------------------- 
(attached)

2. COMMENTS PER SECTION---------------
Specification
- I like how your opening is a welcome message to the public.
- Great note to reviewers on progressive learning!
- Lovely to hear all your aspiration about adding yields to the "system".
- Abstract summarizes the LIPD as a platform for learning - good foundation and summary of content. I like the pattern to detail here.
- Navigation included.
- I appreciate how your table of contents has section summaries included.
- Nice link at bottom of page to the next page.

Thesis and Context
- I like the sentence at the top of the page which captures the intent of what you're offering here. Your sentence structure is off though - why not use semicolon or bullets?
- I value the breakdown on scope of your LIPD (outlined in 5 bullet points). 
- What's with the inconsistent formatting - some indented paragraphs and some not? I prefer no indentation myself.
- Nice 'jack-of-all-trades' approach - the diversalist.
- You bring up zones and Permaculture ethics without really defining what they mean. I think you need to add bit more context.
- Interesting focus on returning the surplus, I like your sense of moving to the next level and branding your business. 
- I'm confused by the focus stated in the introduction compared to your thesis? It seems that you're tracking earth, people and surplus care all at once? The surplus bit isn't mentioned in the thesis section.
- Nice ethics map - maybe consider adding 'permaculture ethics' to the center.
- I'm glad to see you putting so much thought into your specialization this early into the pathway! I think you do a thorough job here providing validation for why the specialization is suitable. I would suggest you attempt to give more definition to the term "Applied Permaculture". I'd like to see you further assess the field - what does that term mean in the field? How are people using the term and how often? Our there gaps in the field and if so how is your work filling those gaps?
- Awesome Mindmap Liam!! I love the bit on archetypes - I din't see you talk about that anywhere?
- I love the naming of yourself as 'nomadic healer and nourisher of people' - lovely!!
- Cycles - I so resonate with this! Would love to talk with you more to reflect on patterns, cycles and energy flows.

Goals and Design
- So happy to see that you have clearly articulated your OP design process. I would've liked to see just a modicum of separation between the OP and the project of assessing your life goals. You combined them though - so the project became one. In the future try to separate them to some degree to show you've completed two design cycles/OP.
- Nice use of ORGBADIE. In future pathway reflections I'd like to see you discuss your evolution as a designer and compare different design models you've experimented with.
- You've added this image of a chakra design model - did you create this? If not, where did you get it from? What does it have to do with your own process? The short paragraph doesn't provide enough information for me to feel that this is well integrated. I'd also like to know how this ties into ORGBADIE.
- Very succinct and clear goals for this OP included - I would suggest adding the statement that you'll assess your progress and completion of these goals in the xxx section of this OP.

OPs
- Good pattern overview to kick off this page. Again, I like the link back to livelihood.
- Awesome that you included your digital literacy and goals!
- This is such a fantastic overview of each OP. I am really into the layout. I like the goals, abstract, key opportunity and ideal outcomes as talking points for each OP - that's exactly the information I'd want to know.  Good that you repeated the pattern consistently!
- All your projects are very strategic and worthy for the MSc level. Please be sure to include plenty of world context, assessment of the field, and comparative external referencing. Basically I want plenty of research and critical evaluation for each OP - with plenty of evidence on how you're adding value to the field.
- I noticed that you didn't make goals for OP 5 - intentional?
- I'd really like to see another section on this page which outlines your intentions to manage your pathway, make decisions and track your progress.

Personal and Professional Pathway
- Good detail on project specifics related to your personal and professional growth!
- Same as on the other page - I'd like to see here some mention of how you intend to track these intentions.
- You add the video on starting a beehive - I'd suggest you add a statement as to why you include this type of supporting evidence on this page.

Allies and Accountability
- Helpful overview statement at the top of the page - grounds me into your intentions.
- The accountability metrics is awesome - this is what I was hoping for. Perhaps mention on the other pages that this type of tracking is being presented later in the OP.
- Under metrics description growing is spelled wrong.
- This page is fantastic - it creates some real milestones. It's ideal to put measurements in actual numbers and timeframes. I will do this many of this by this date. Even if you don't meet that goal it's qualitative and gives more precise data that you can then quantitatively assess.
- Allies map - well done! I think I would've liked seeing allies per OP too though.
- Timeline - seems realistic based on your pattern of engagement thus far in GU.
- Here's a good page to add comments on managing your pathway and making decisions. Also consider mentioning your intentions to engage in Gaia U and meet participation requirements.

Intentions and To Do List
- So this page is an overall look at Liam's goals for the year - outside of the scope of your Gaia U documentation.
- How are you tying this type of reflection into your pathway? Are you intending to track this in each project OP (pathway reflection)?
- I like the concrete next steps - do these fit on your timeline?
- The mind map is expansion? Does that mean its beyond or within the pathway?
- Again I like your balance between meta level pattern and detail provided on this page!
- You provide a list of movies to watch - how about making a list of books and resources also?

Commentary
- Excellent - you covered all the salient points needed in a commentary.
- Great annotations in your resource review!
- I like that you added the 4 Questions.
- It's helpful for me to read how you incorporated the peer feedback.
- Have you attended any Gaia Radio calls this quarter?

Support
- Journal entries - check!
- Feel free to add photos of hand drawn mind maps and other documents you create in draft form as you're designing and creating this OP (or the content).