Associate Name: Patrick Padden
Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Jennifer Dauksha-English

Output Packet #:  	5	Year: Capstone
Date Submitted: November 17th, 2014
Date Reviewed: November 30th, 2014
Mark: 74
Grade: B
Time Spent on Review: 3.75 hrs

Dear Patrick,

I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to read your Output Packet. Thanks for all of your work on both self and planetary levels. I think you did a great job. The quality of this OP well exceeds the quality of the OP 5 you created in the past, that was left marked incomplete. Thanks for working with us to ensure that you're adequately refining the skills relevant to highlighting a well balanced portfolio.

My review is broken into these sections:
1. Evaluation Form 
2. Comments Per Section

Required next step: 
- Redo your self evaluation and add comments for each criteria (similar to mine). Be sure to do this for the final OP with comments specific to the OP and add a cumulative reflection.
- Be sure to include a reflection on design in the final OP (compare design models and track your evolution as a designer).

Recommended next step:
- Review my comments and incorporate my feedback into OP 6

I respect your integrity in managing your pathway. I'm glad to be your advisor!

Cheers,
Jennifer

OP REVIEW-------------------------

1. EVALUATION FORM-------------------- 

(attached)

2. COMMENTS PER SECTION---------------

Commentary
- OP Specification - I would suggest you start out with a different leading sentence. Talking about templates as the lead in feels a bit too technical and detailed. How about a pattern level statement, maybe even something a bit more inspiring first?  Maybe switch the paragraphs around and start with the content of the OP. What are your OP goals? 
- Navigation - succinct and sufficient.
- Abstract - Grammatical errors with spacing and spelling of tendency.  Do you mean sword not sward? 
- Design Methodology - What is the history or lineage of this design process? Did someone at Sunrise Ranch develop the process? I like that you used an elemental pattern as your process. I think it's fascinating how different cultures place the elements into differing seasons. For example in Ayurveda, Spring is water (life/creation), Summer is fire (work/passion), Autumn is air (connection/reflection), and Winter is earth (settling/internal). I like the reflection on cycling this process. I really appreciate how you articulated the use of the model through the lens of your OP, the pathway and the business. However, because project design is something we track on the review form - I would have liked a bit more detail on how the model was used in relation to the project - rather then just a reflection on the outcome and where you are now. Lastly, on design I always appreciate a reflection on your evolution as a designer. Please be sure in the final OP that you compare and contrast design models you've explored and discuss your evolution.
- Digiphon - Sufficient.
- Life Update - Several of these paragraphs seem very long - it's hard to read if you loose your place. I would suggest you cut it in half. I'm impressed with the edges you pushed around venturing out into the "real world".
- Pathway Tracking - good overview of goals met and not met. I would have liked to maybe see a link back to the LIPD here. I'd like to see a bit more tracking of skills and learning goals in the final LR. Note how this extends far below the other two columns - perhaps consider shifting the location of some of this content so that the columns are more even.
- Participation - Awesome - great level of engagement!
- MTMP - This is an authentic reflection. The only thing missing here is maybe a bit more reflection on the tools you use to manage your time.
- Project Integration - Excellent reflections on how the project is impacting your pathway, personal and professional growth!
- Skillflex Assessment - This is an awesome reflection - I love the story on how you changed your approach to talking with clients. This is an intervention! Low and behold - confidence is important! I really appreciate the patrix/political reflection on the field of Permaculture. Well done!
- Learnings - I'm glad that the PoDAPO call along with the Template available - assisted in your competency around preparing your OP.
- Goals - You had no other goals? Presentation or process related goals perhaps?
- Feedback - this is about feedback from previous work and the peer review process (or even discussions we have in sessions).
- Journals - check!
- Reviews - 

Core Report
This section is usually the largest so I'm quite surprised by the length here. Are you considering the website as part of your Core Report? I would think it's more supporting evidence.
- Introduction - I think this could be a bit longer - maybe add some world context and inspiration. Maybe help make it applicable to the reader.
- Specification - nicely done. On the project design maybe link to the commentary - or mention more about the steps. This design piece could really be expanded on.
- How to… - I really value how this is geared to the reader - so its a harvesting of best practices and essentially recommendations for replication. Nice job making this presentation! It's professional and showcases your ability to make graphical images (I assume you created all of this - if you haven't, then you really need to reference the images, tables and graphics).
- Context - You provided some personal context but what about world context?
- Intervention - more detail on this would be ideal.
- Conclusion - why is the conclusion before some of this other content? 
- Purpose - This bit on what the world needs - speak more about that!
- Critical Evaluation - Explain more about the niche you discovered and why it's significant. What are the gaps in the field? What I'm looking for here is a bit more on referencing, comparing, expanding and critiquing the work of others.
- Outcomes - ok good overview. Watch spelling errors. Weather is whether for example. Explain why you include Yeoman's Presentation.

Supporting Evidence
- Field Research - excellent - I almost think this could go into the core report. This is the assessment I was asking for in some regards.
- Annotations - well done! This is a decent amount of resources.
- Sessions - good summary.
- Estimate - this is a perfect example of support. I would suggest you add a little statement providing some context. Your webiste would go here too in many regards - it is the support. On the website - who is we? Under About it just lists you. I like all the multi media!