Associate Name: Nicole Vosper
Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Jennifer Dauksha-English

Output Packet #:  	4	Year: MSc Pre-Capstone
Date Submitted: March 5th, 2015
Date Reviewed: March 30th, 2015
Mark: 74
Grade: B
Time Spent on Review: 3.75 hrs

Dear Nicole,

I’d loved the critical evaluation process applied in this OP. Great skill flexing! 

My review is broken into these sections:
1. Evaluation Form 
2. Comments Per Section

Required next step: 
- Upload peer review assigned.

You’re amazing. I’m so delighted to be your advisor!

Cheers,
Jennifer

OP REVIEW-------------------------

1. EVALUATION FORM-------------------- 

(attached)

2. COMMENTS PER SECTION--------------- (I abbreviated section titles)

OP 4 Overview
- Fantastic guideline for reader - I wish everyone could be so explicit!
- With soundtrack, perhaps add one sentence as to why you’ve included this.
- A bit over word count as usual:) Good shape and size though considering your thoroughness. I would love for you to be clearer about supporting evidence.
- In the OP Overview section - define what you mean by antispeciest. Though you have links, I think it would be very helpful if you defined agroecokogy in this first paragraph. Also whats specific about this in comparison to animal liberation movement. You’re using a lot of field specific jargon without explaining what or how the words are unique within the field. So is the field animal liberation or political agroecology?
- I do not think that an abstract is a summary of content sections. I think its more to summarize the key outcomes of your thinking. What are the results of your work? Look up ‘how to write an abstract’ and you’ll see what I mean. What you have here is a detailed summary of contents. So you’re missing the abstract - in its true form.
- On OP design process - I love the framework that you’re using to capture the scope of this project! The mind map is exceptional in identifying process and potential for implementation. However, I do not see that you’re explicitly stating what design tools you’re using. Are you using a design model or any principles? As an MSc Associate and Advisor - I really need you to model meeting the design element criteria. Let’s brainstorm on how to make this extremely explicit. I’m confused if Kolb is your design process (unlikely) or consideration to balance engagement? I don’t see that you used this to design the project or make decisions.
- I very much value the bit on critical evaluation of the field. It’s fantastic how you utilized the process DRCE provided in the OR.
- When considering action learning process you provide an example of how you’ve holistically engaged within each quadrant of the Kolb model. I like that you explain why you choose this tool. I am wondering though what came of the experience though - what did you notice about your behavior and engagement patterns? How did the tool help support your process? 
- On the tracker you have the same link twice. It would be helpful if you provided a sentence or two explaining what this means and how you use it, not to mention its results or where they can be found. Its quite fragmented as it is aired with only a link.

Complex Worldviews
- You might want to include a trigger warning for the reader - this is pretty intense.
- I like that you define some of the complexity and shape of the world views. 
- What are the outcomes of Wilkie’s work and how was the material presented - over which media? Same question for the work of Dr. Joy. You share more about the process and how you’ve complimented the research with your own work then you o summarizing the key outcomes. There’s the missing abstract concept again.
- You use the abbreviation CAFO - what does this stand for?
- Great inclusion of chart on emotional relationships.
- The section on the rejection of veganisim is awesome, however I find it non-conclusive. I think it would help if you began and ended the section with some interactive statement. 
- Who is the author of “Beasts of Burden”?
- If capitalism and economic development for society, a business or the individual farmer trump animal welfare - how can this be reversed? Is there a gradient where economic decisions are made because of fear or threat to livelihood, therefore animals get de-prioritized? Or is it more influenced by demand related to a society of convenience and ignorance? I really think that further tracing our worldview and ability to meet needs through the lens of capitalism is valuable. If we can figure out the basic needs that perpetuate this belief and then a means to instate animal welfare on top of meeting these needs - I think progress can happen.
- Love the quote on CAFO - which is finally spelled out. 
- The section comparing four activists views could be really well compared in a table format. This would highlight the scale of their beliefs/offerings to the field.
- This section has an amazing amount of critical thinking - excellent use of resources! I like how you mix your research with personal opinion, though I’d like even more of the later.

Survey and Analysis
- Excellent resource review! Are you annotating any of these aside from direct references within report?
- This map is exactly what I had in mind when I suggested some comparative assessment across the field. However the map is cumbersome and I wonder if you could also condense this into a simplified chart that harvested key words for quick assessment at a pattern level.
- Good overview statement at the top of map.

Movements
- Good overview, however define speciesim or have a glossary of terms. What do you mean by, “the broadening of my reader” in the third sentence?  Do you mean your target audience? 
- When you say this page isn’t included in the word count - maybe say why - that this is supporting evidence, or something.
- So basically these are questions that steered your research.
- Cool images, they really capture the topic well. Is that milk getting sprayed onto a policeman?
- Quotes are super valuable.

Towards an AA
- So you conclude by saying that this OP hopefully generates more questions then it does answers - I didn’t see that you explicitly noted that was your intention in the abstract - so be sure to tell us - tell us in detail - then remind us about your intentions and outcomes.
- There’s a quality of intentional engagement within these closing remarks that I think needs to also be further represented within the opening of this report.
- So this is a message directed specifically to anarchists? What would the message be if you were sharing to Permacultralists? I feel that you really focused a lot of energy in the opening on the field of Permaculture and it would be cool if you delineated the message to both fields - what’s unique and what’s overlapping in the closing thoughts? Also, including that reflection on Permaculture would further integrate some of the key threads in the OP.
- Great resource list and references. The active links are super useful.
- Once again, I’m really appreciating the quotes and images.

Reflections
- Fantastic view from the hill behind your house - wow!
- Thanks for the appreciation. I love being your advisor and I’m grateful that you benefit from my involvement in your life.
- Excellent tracking of project re-negotiation points. What were the hinge points and patterns?
- I think it is odd that you colored the key reflections green within the OP Process Reflection section only because in the above sections the green words seem to indicate links.
- That’s fantastic that you taught as part of a vegan PC course!
- Good integration of pathway thread in the connections section. 
- You mention one of the OP outcomes is the questions - what do you intend to do with these questions?
- When you include the list of feedback does this mean that you did all of these considerations? 

OP Outcomes
- I would suggest adding a sentence introduction to this section.
- I love that you are tracking all of these qualities of life indicators. I like that you do form an assessment about stress, but I would like to hear more of this type of reflection. 
- Good overview of skill flex development.
- Another fantastic tracking tool!
- Fantastic outreach during events!
- Excellent supporting evidence of outcomes on this page!
- I am so impressed by your level of engagement - I do not know how you manage all of these projects and attendance to so many events.

Supporting Material
- I love the image of you as a child - great reflection. This is some excellent context about how you got to where you are today!
- I love the overview of your place within the field! Its insightful to hear about the evolution in your philosophy of engagement. 
- Fabulous overview of the movement and your own personal process. 
- Good overview of your informed beliefs.
- Wonderful - ok here’s the annotated resource review - great. 

Reviews
- Self review has great examples of how you met each criteria. I’d like to see a bit more critical self evaluation and a cumulative reflection on skill building in each area. 
- Peer review (you must upload your review here).