Associate Name: Liam McDermott
Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Jennifer Dauksha-English Morgan

Output Packet #:  	5	Year: Capstone MSc
Date Submitted: June 16th, 2016
Date Reviewed: July 29th, 2016
Mark: 73
Grade: B
Time Spent on Review: 3.75 hrs

Dear Liam,

Congratulations on completing your final OP! This is so very exciting. I’m proud of you and honored to have been your Advisor on this journey.

My review is broken into these sections:
1. Evaluation Form 
2. Comments Per Section

Required next step: 
- Based on some actions I listed as requirements in OP 4 for OP 5, I’ll send you an e-mail that lists what is still needed for this OP.
Recommended next step:
- Consider making some edits based on my feedback before we submit for final review.

I respect your integrity in managing your pathway. Well done for following through! Impressive:)

Cheers,
Jennifer

OP REVIEW-------------------------

1. EVALUATION FORM-------------------- 

(attached)

2. COMMENTS PER SECTION---------------
Prologue
- This first paragraph is the same as OP 4 (Note to reviewer). I still have the same question about learner, leader, manager, designer - how di you choose those skills over others?
- The same feedback I gave you before totally applies to this page (OP 4 and OP 5 being so similar).

OP Commentary
- I love the analogy of filters and threads. 
- This OP abstract is very thorough and succinct. Well done!
- Great that you included a timeline Would be cool if you had the original plan aside the actual.
- On the list of OPs it seems like you forgot to put OP 4 from the other phase. What about adding links and listing them instead of within text?
- Once again, I’m really struggling with your formatting - please add spaces between paragraphs.
- I’m curious how you choose to focus on this feedback over others?
- How did you manage the OP? What steps did you take?
- How are you tracking your goals?
- Output packet outcomes would be easier to read if they had different formatting, like dash/hyphen or bold title - and description.

Core Report Design/Outcomes and Curriculum 
Design Page…
- I like how you used SADIE for the Learning Review and broke it out by function, Kolb Kite, Skills and specific actions. Well done. i was confused at first if you were referring to past OPs also or just saying you surveyed the LCR. In any regards, well done.
- I like that the emphasis is on defining the field and verifying your pathway within the field. Good way to validate your degree!
- We need to discuss disseminating this beyond just the Gaia U community.
- I think you could benefit from defining and contextualizing delocalization much more before diving into opportunities.
- As I said with OP 4 be sure to state how you are going to track goals and intervention moments.
- Awesome how you identified all the OPs within the framework of Relocalization.
- How does Relocalization fit into the field of Applied Permaculture?

Outcomes Page…
- I remember giving you a feedback about I statements when creating action lists, and suggesting that you start with an action verb to make it more powerful.
- Maybe don’t repeat descriptive words so frequently, i.e. “huge” under Key Outcomes. 
- How can you display this information so it is more pattern level? Perhaps mind maps or charts?

Curriculum Page…
- Fabulous this is what I have been looking for regarding design skill building. Yes!
- I’m glad that you shared the basic pattern!
- What do you mean by designing designs?Provide a small amount of context.
- How do I buy some of your chocolate?
- I’m still thinking that you could do a comparative assessment of the many design models you used rather than just listing them. Your screen shot in excel is a step in that direction. I like how you have the acronyms spelled out. I want more of this. For example you could explain which ones worked and didn’t or in what situations.
- Check your links as not all of them are active.

Core Report OP Links and Abstracts/ Cumulative Key Outcomes
- Excellent summaries of each OP!
- I especially appreciate that you have key opportunities and ideal outcomes identified.
- I’m very impressed by your creativity in addressing delocalization and resiliency skill building in your own life. It’s beautiful to see your cumulative work presented here. You’re amazingly diverse and skilled at whatever you set out to do. And passionate. It’s truly inspiring.
- Awesome videos!
- Lovely to see all these cumulative learnings - I wonder if there’s a way to display them so they can be comparable. For example one way would be to chart them within the kolb kite or within integral quadrants. Or how about the permaculture ethics. Like categorize them into earth care, people care, fair share and maybe add self care. Can you understand how assessing them in a way other than just listing them would be really useful in being able to observe and discuss key patterns?
- This page could benefit from a micro introduction and conclusion.

Core Report Reflections on PreCap Learnings /Applied Permaculture Design
- I really like that you went back and added a page on your PreCapstone phase. 
- I’m thinking that the new tools are a reflection on how that first phase influenced you now? If not I’d like to here a bit more how this has woven into where you are at today.
- I’m glad to see that you added some additional reflection on world context and matrix busting.
- Your attention to energy consumption really resonates with me as a reason for relocalization. 
- Awesome that you put your OPs into the Permaculture Flower (give Holmgren credit for referencing the flower). I’m curious which aspects of the flower aren’t you attending to in your pathway? That would be an awesome assessment.
- Good distinction of the word applied as an action.

Relocalization Thesis
- Who’s quote is in this picture?
- This page like many of the others needs some attention to formatting. It’s very hard to read the run on text. Please add spaces. it looks very unprofessional.
- There’s some really great content here. I’m wondering why there’s not a bibliography of research to back up these thoughts?
- Did you make this chart on comparing relocalization and globalization? Are the invisible and visible structures in the first column part of the Permaculture flower? How did you come up with that list? Can you compare that list to your OPs again?

Commentary (2)
- I agree with your opening paragraph however unsure what you mean about deception.
- The OP is not about leadership or cooperation but here’s an excellent time to reflect on it cumulatively over your pathway.
- Same for MTMP - an opportunity for cumulative assessment.
- On LIPD reflections - awesome you looked at brand strokes and next steps. Where is your tracking though? I do not see any metrics for tracking your skill flex development or summary of goals met or unmet. Honestly, this feels a bit inconclusive in that regard.

Supporting Evidence (3)
- Good cumulative resource review.
- Digiphon - check.
- Consistent journal entires - check.
- Great that you included PreCapstone OPs.