Output Packet Pro Review

Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Laura Kaestele
Associate Name: Carolina-Therese Winter
Output Packet #: 4
Program: Bachelor of Science and Permaculture Design Diploma
Phase/ALC: PreCAP-ALC2
Date Submitted: November 24th, 2019
Date Reviewed: December 8th, 2019
Mark: 74
Grade: B
Time Spent on Review: 3.5 hrs + 0.5 for review forms

Dear Carolina,
congratulations for creating this land-based permaculture design project for your property and applying permaculture design principles, methods and tools during the process! I appreciate your active engagement in all design phases and balancing project work with studies and family. It seems that both owning the land, the economic needs to create an income and the focus on permaculture design through combing the BSc with the Diploma program bring a clear concentration to your work and learning pathway. I look forward to seeing your ongoing growth and professional development as a permaculture designer!

My review is broken into these sections:
1. PoDAPO Evaluation Form
2. Comments Per Section

Required Next Steps: 
�	None

Recommended Next Steps: 
�	Continue to improve your English writing skills, use grammarly and arrange proof-reading.
�	Experiment with one new genre and writing style for your next OP, try it as an experiment.
�	Advance your critical evaluation skills by comparing, contrasting and expanding different thinking to each other and your own practical experience.
�	Focus more on doing and expand your practical skills in permaculture design and growing as well as delivering strong project outcomes and benefits to the field.
�	Make assessment and evaluation both qualitative and quantitative by choosing appropriate metrics to evaluate the success and impact of your interventions and actions.
�	Consider a dissemination strategy for your future OP writing both online and offline.

Cheers, 
Laura

OP REVIEW

1.	PoDAPO EVALUATION FORM (attached)
2.	COMMENTS PER SECTION (see below)

COMMENTS PER SECTION

Title and Summary
•	Please make sure to explain key terms you use like „pattern design“ what do you mean by that? Also, be concrete and descriptive with how you use words e.g. what do you mean by „smaller areas“ and „different areas“?
•	I would re-write the last sentence of the summary – focus more on your decisions and their purpose: „I chose to structure the OP with individual pages for each design phase so readers can follow (and learn from) the process and information in chronological order.
•	The structure section is great, but it needs a bit more information to really make sense and be clear for me as a reader 1. and 3. are one page each and 2. are several pages but the sub-points of 2. relate to the content and not the page structure...?
•	For the purpose section, I would also like you to add a little bit of context and description of the process, method and decision making you did (prioritization) for creating these goals.
•	I would prefer to have the word count and digiphon both in the front of the OP as part of the commentary as they are relevant when I start reading the OP.
•	It makes sense for guidelines to readers to be included in the word count, this is where you put useful information on navigation, structure, flow, and media.

Commentary – Pattern Design
 •	Why do you have self and peer reviews attached on the first and second page? Just the first page of the OP is best and a clear pattern for all OP reviewers.
 •	Excellent project development reflections on timing, changes, and interventions – why you chose to change )postpone) the focus of the project from herb growing and business to an overall property design. Logical choice considering your needs and timing.
 •	Regarding ongoing documentation I want to give you three possibilities or tips: 1) develop a habit to write even just a short reflection or journal entry regularly e.g. every day or week 2) consider the purpose of and target audience for documentation to decide how/what to document and 3) set up systems/patterns e.g. spreadsheet or specific software to have an organised framework for project management and tracking.
 •	So glad to read the up-front OP design and thoughtful planning worked out well and resulted in a more clear and effective OP production process!
 •	Considering your process reflections how can you reduce (prioritize), navigate (relax in) and manage complexity in your life? Since you handle projects, studies, work, and family.
 •	Excellent pathway reflections describing the combination of BSc and Diploma program, the relevance and opportunity for permaculture design as land owners and the clear direction this brings for your learning pathway. 
 •	I can see a higher level of awareness of timing and interventions in your pathway as well as pro-active engagement and self-responsibility to manage your program, make requests and ask for support. 
 •	I would have liked to read more details on the project roles, task distribution and collaboration of Fabian and you (plus other allies and experts) as part of the core report. 
 •	How do you plan on improving your use of ZIM for more effective project management or experiment with a new tool that does not lead to the same challenges? Do you track the time you spend on tasks? This is the only/best way I found to improve time estimation.
 •	Happy to see you included a field analysis in this OP. Why is it called „hortus insectorum“ project? I look forward to seeing a refinement of this assessment tool in the future.
 •	The evaluation of practical benefits to the field is fantastic. Well done for improving this area from previous OPs and being more clear and specific in interventions and impact. This would be great as part of the core report evaluation page.
Project Background
 •	I think it would be good to mention the table of contents in the guidelines for readers and make sure this is well integrated into the content and flow of the OP. 
 •	I think it makes sense to put an introduction and/or project specification at the start of this page and not directly jump into the decision to buy a property that feels  a little fast for me.
 •	Fantastic to see the documentation of the design process of how Fabian and you searched and found your home place. To expand this, I would invite you to pay more attention to transition, timing and intervention points e.g. for the 2017 temporary and 2019 long-term decision. Why at that time, what influenced the decision and intervention. Did your wishes and needs change over time since 2014? How are you tracking the transitions and changes?
 •	Lovely, to include the attention to and use of permaculture ethics to choose your property. Maybe add more reflections on how using the three ethics went and shaped your process. 
 •	It seems to me you were looking for a natural place to live, with like-minded people around and the ability to grow food, be self-sufficient and make a livelihood. You could name that more clearly. Another way to apply the ethics would have been to describe how you bring earth care, people care and limits to growth and consumption to whatever place you choose – it does not need to be there – you bring it alive.
 •	Don't you think the purpose of permaculture design is more to restore and regenerative damaged and degraded landscapes (and communities) instead of natural, wild places?
 •	How did you come to this strong conclusion that buying a property is the only way to implement your vision and that is the only way to be happy. It seems unnecessarily limited to me. Don't you think there are other ways to manifest your vision and be happy?
 •	„The model I have used to design our property is SADIM, an acronym that stands for ...“ Also, give some context and lineage of the design model, is it created by a permaculturist? Or who invented it? In what field of design?
 •	Well done for choosing a design process SADIM and then adapting it according to your needs and process replacing Maintain with Evaluate and Develop to form SADIED. You could add more critical comparison between both models, why you intervened and maybe share recommendations for what situation or project which design model works best.
 •	I don't understand why in Permaculture Goals you called the sections „design level“ and content level“ - what I see is first the design intention or purpose and permaculture principle, then a list of design goals or needs. 
 •	In the outcome section you write „my goal is...“ but as reviewer, I am expecting to read about clear outcomes and results of the project design – looking back to what was achieved not goal looking forward into the future. What you describe in this section is the purpose or function of the pattern design and one more detailed herb project. 

Survey
 •	Same comment on the content table. Some description about what this is, how to use and understand it would make this more meaningful.
 •	I don't think putting an optional section first thing at the top is a good placement. Why not integrate that content directly with the client interview and site survey and have a little page summary and introduction at the top?
 •	The client interview summary has several grammar and syntax errors and reads a bit clumsy. Did you proof-read that section yourself or using grammarly?
 •	Fantastic aerial shots of your property! Great just to get a first visual impression of the landscape, vegetation, and environment.
 •	This survey process looks great for laying a strong foundation for any design thinking and deeply understanding social and ecological influences.
 •	I have seen a few times when you mixed in German words in the English texts e.g. the table with resources, boundaries, and needs you write „Vermarktung“. Please pay attention to share content in English – understandable for readers - while editing.
 •	For the future I would encourage you to add a little introduction, purpose and (process) description to any design tool or table you share e.g. regional network or resources, boundaries and needs as well as a short conclusion, insights, patterns, and outcomes. More like what you did for the sector analysis. 
 •	Some parts of the sector analysis are hard to read, a bit larger and darker font would make it easy. Otherwise nice drawing and collection of land observations! The legend and description of color code is super useful. Again mix of German (image) and English (text).
 •	I don't understand why the final chart about resources and challenges is on the survey page, seems to be misplaced (put out of context and lacking integration) and would fit better in one of the last three core report pages e.g. implementation.

Analysis
 •	Again to me, it is irritating to have the first text blog and introduction optional. Please make an effort to reduce and meet the word count without adding too many optional pieces to the core report that are actually quite important to read.
 •	The identification of functions seems to be closely related to needs assessment (and client interview) from the survey section before. How can you avoid repetition, stack functions, and compact information? Some of these assessments could be supportive evidence.
 •	What is a „system“ and how would you define it? The list in the function-system-element table some of the bullet points to me don't describe a system e.g. „selling things we produce“ it is rather an activity or goal – a system would be a business (and marketing).
 •	Again double content (overlap) between boundaries and limiting factors.
 •	Beautiful zoning map and color code. Same as before, please write a bit more text to any and all tools you use. To me, it makes sense for the area between zone 1 and the pond to also be zone 2 and all directly connect since you will often be walking through there.
 •	Was your idea to link key limiting factors with points of interventions? Then the economic and water don't fit together. Why is time and finances not part of the key limiting factor bullet point list, if they such big constraints?
 •	For the purpose of keeping the core report clear and organised I would invite you to move additional content to the supportive evidence page.
 •	Happy you see you started a financial estimation since that is a limited resource and can greatly impact implementation, very relevant. These numbers seem to be very rough estimates and I encourage you to refine them and become more specific and realistic along the step-by-step implementation process.

Design
�	Why did you choose that permaculture quote and the related qualities? This is an opportunity to compare and contrast your own thinking with the thinking of other permaculture designers. 
�	I would have also liked to see more critical evaluation and comparative assessment of the three land-based systems you chose permaculture, natural gardening and hortus insectorum to describe what they are, highlight similarities, differences, gaps, and synergies.
�	A little confused to see another zoning map here. I thought you did the zone analysis already on the previous page. Flow and integration of information need improvement.
�	Ah! It is a future envisioned zoning map. Still, I would prefer these two zoning maps present and future to be right next to each other and then to compare and analyise how and why things are planned to develop on the land – how and why zones change.
�	Fantastic you did some active experimentation with the placement and pathways/lines on the land! What did you learn from the experiment? How did you decide at the end to finalise the placements?
�	The permaculture principles are another example where a bit more context and process would be needed e.g. to name the source and lineage of the principles (developed by David Holmgren), mention the full 12 principles and how this application benefits the design.
�	Yes, just being at the UN Climate Conference and listening to climate scientists I can only strongly encourage you to not take rainfall for granted there will be much more droughts (and floods) in the coming years – also in Germany. Make a plan for climate adaptation and mitigation in combination with overall resilience.
�	You write „we read...“ would be nice to make a statement ar the beginning of the report if, in what ways and how much Fabian was actively involved in the design. Did you work in this as a team or was it mainly your project?
�	Great thinking and planning to tackle „slope“ one the challenging features of the property. This would be another opportunity for comparative assessment to contrast the different systems you mentioned plus why you chose what to use on your land.
�	Property Design: Add a little introduction and description to weave the text and ensure good flow and integration. Again the words on the image are hard to read.
�	Nice descriptions of the key design systems e.g. water, earthworks, biodiversity, children or herbs with the visualisation of the property design map.

Implement 
�	Maybe combining the little content table and initial „implementation“ sentence into one short paragraph and introduction for this page and design phase would work best.
�	The implementation table is great and shows the work you have done on the land and for your project in chronological order. For the future, this implementation process would also be a perfect opportunity to expand your tracking to include observations, interventions (actions) and outcomes all in relation to timing. 
�	Fantastic and simple view of the progress and growth in the herb field with the two photos.
�	Not sure what you mean by „I tackled myself with the topics I really want to implement in life.“ - what is the outcome? Also, the language and grammar do not make sense.
�	I would like to see more weaving and connections between text sections e.g. from the implementation table to the bullet point list of outcomes. 
�	I could have structured the outcomes around the 5 Ps – just a thought.
�	Happy to see this list of resources required and an honest assessment of how important personal stamina, energy, and motivation are for a project's success. What about time as a resource? You mention it at different times throughout the report.
�	The slideshows give a nice visual impression of the property and implementation progress.
�	It would be great to include the herb project design, active experimentation and documentation in the word count and more strongly in the OP as a demonstration of your prototyping and experimentation skills.
�	The professional outcomes at the end of the page – after the optional section – can easily be overlooked. I would change the placement and combine it with the other outcome list.

Evaluate 
�	Again, I think it makes more sense to combine the content table and text into one concise introduction and overview for the evaluation page – included in the word count.
�	Excellent tracking of goal achievement and outcomes created with a clear structure: goals, progress, outcomes and comments, changes or renegotiation. 
�	Is that included in the word count? Again, I think it should be, not to miss key content. 
�	Maybe also add a few sentences on why and how you did the tracking e.g. why in these three columns and how it has supported your project management. Consider you are teaching readers about these tools.
�	Well done for closing the circle and revisiting the design goals from the start to evaluate them here. This shows the transformation of self and context (land) clearly.
�	Great skill-flex tracking spreadsheet with qualitative assessment, I appreciate that you added skill gaps and learning needs. What is missing is a more quantitative/metric evaluation of skill building e.g. adding a 0-10 skill level assessment.
�	Well done for creating this summary of permaculture tools and application. I think it can serve readers and new permaculture designers as an inspiration and assistance for doing design work. I would have liked to see permaculture described as a field and methodology you have used more dominantely in the report – maybe also as a clear statement at the beginning of the project report. 
�	The drone photo is beautiful, nice to see your home and family! 

Develop 
�	Great to make plans to continue implementation and development of the property, which of course is a multi-year long process and in some way will never end but shift from implementation to maintenance at some point.
�	The time plan you made is very broad. Is it still useful for you or would a simple priority list or an Eisenhower's matrix (important and urgent) serve you better?
�	How wide is your time frame for these next steps – one month, four months, a year or longer? Maybe keep it more short-term and practical. I would also encourage you to make the next steps SMART e.g. give them a timeline/deadline and concrete results. 
�	Why is the herb project and herb business two different action lists? Why did you change the format from bullet points to a checklist? You can use either but cohesion looks better.

Supportive Evidence
 •	Consider moving the digiphon and word count section to the OP commentary, which fits better in content.  
 •	I think the core report could be more clear and concise by moving optional sections „out of the way“ into the supportive evidence page.
 •	Glad to see the on-site meeting with your permaculture mentor Nesrin was productive and you got good input for adapting and implementing the design. How about adding some documentation and learnings from the herb courses you took?
 •	Consider sharing about the people, event or courses you gained knowledge from in addition to the annotated resources review with books, articles, and websites.
 •	Happy to see further design drawings and maps. It would be more useful and understandable if you add short descriptions of what it is that you drew there.

OP Reviews
 •	I can definitely notice your improved understanding of the PoDAPO criteria, evident in your self-review reflections as well as a strong effort to integrate feedback you receive. 
 •	Well done for adding two documents with responses to the feedback from Nesrin and myself. What about integrating feedback to you give to in your self-review? How can you prioritize, reduce complexity and distill clear next steps from four cycles of feedback – self, peer, permaculture mentor and main advisor? What is the best tracking system for that?
 •	This understanding also shows in your capacity to give feedback to your peers. I found supportive comments, improvement suggestions and open questions in your peer review as well as an overall appreciative voice to your writing.