Output Packet Pro Review

Main Advisor and OP Reviewer: Laura Kaestele
Associate Name: Lizandra Barbuto
Output Packet #: 3
Program: Master of Science
Phase/ALC: PreCAP-ALC1
Date Submitted: November 30th 2017
Date Reviewed: November 25th 2017
Mark: 58
Grade: D
Time Spent on Review: 3 hrs + 0.5 for review forms

Dear Lizandra,
well done for completing your first project-based OP. I am really impressed with the deep research and exploration of the dreaming phase in Dragon Dreaming you have shared combing both scientific and indigenous perspectives to create understanding, meaning and practical benefits. I understand your struggles with the GaiaU system, OP criteria and PoDAPO requirements and time management. There are several areas of improvement and gaps in your OP and I hope through the feedback, questions, suggestions and next steps provided you will develop a better understanding and ability to thrive as an action learner in GaiaU. I can help you with that also in main advising sessions or you can make use of skill-flex sessions e.g. for design or PoDAPO criteria.

My review is broken into these sections:
1. PoDAPO Evaluation Form (attached)
2. Comments Per Section (see below)

Required Next Steps: 
 •	Add a commentary with an OP process and design as well as a pathway reflection section to your next OP and check the OP requirements and feedback for content guidelines.
 •	Set intentions and goals for your project, OP and action learning, track their progress and evaluate outcomes and key un/learnings, all of which you share as part of the OP.
 •	Be diligent with proof-reading and get (peer) editing support to minimize spelling and grammar mistakes while also actively improving your own English skills.
 •	Articulate, apply, track implementation and evaluate a specific design process and methodology for both your project work and OP. Dragon Dreaming if you like :-)

Recommended Next Steps: 
 •	Deepen your understanding of OP requirements and PoDAPO criteria through the resources provided by GaiaU to function well as an action learner and produce great OPs.
 •	Keep your writing clear and concise, shorten the core report and make strong use of the supportive evidence section to show a diversity of practical, professional work and thinking.

I respect your work and commitment in the field of Dragon Dreaming and feel glad to be your main advisor on this learning pathway.

Cheers, 
Laura
COMMENTS PER SECTION

Specification
 •	Beautiful quote and image on this start page, consider adding context and integrating both more with the content to make it meaningful and powerful. How did the quote by Kast influence your own thinking about dreams? Why do you choose Van Gog's painting?
 •	For a solid grounding and anchor in the beginning of your OP please add some information on the OP topic, number, your pathway and program focus to provide orientation.
 •	Don't assume everyone who reads your OP is familiar with Dragon Dreaming, so provide at least a short explanation and maybe add a link or reference for further information.
 •	Great leading questions „What is dreaming?“ and „What does it mean for Dragon Dreaming?“ to share and take readers on an inquiry through the following OP pages.
 •	I really appreciate your transparency about resources and knowledge streams and giving credit e.g. to John Croft and his written work, which this OP is based upon.
 •	Thoughtful to include a disclaimer in the reader's guidelines about the vast field and study of dreams and how this OP just covers a fraction of it. I am curious to know how you choose what literature or practice to study and why? 
 •	I smiled reading about the playlist and how music is essential in life, nice personal touch.
 •	For improvement I suggest to add a visual representation of the Dragon Dreaming wheel, so readers can see what you mean by the dream quadrant and also give some more context and explanation to why dreaming is so relevant and practical in Dragon Dreaming.

Dream
	Nice to anchor your exploration of dreams by acknowledging both a traditional, indigenous, cultural, spiritual and a scientific, psychological understanding and how Dragon Dreaming values and integrates both perspectives.
	Excellent resources references and ongoing links to external references and more information for readers to explore. 
	This page seems to be shortened, kind of „empty“ and the relevant content is in the external references, so all I can read here are bits and pieces e.g. the paragraph on controlling dreams and lucid dreams does not contain any useful knowledge. As an OP reviewer I don't have the time to follow every link, so to me, this page did not add any value to my understanding of dreams or your work with Dragon Dreaming.
	I recommend you to summarize any relevant information from your research and work to share it as part of your core report, plus referencing resources for further reading. 

Neurobiology of Sleep and Dreaming
 •	Nice little introduction with an opening quote and some context, purpose and relevance to what will be shared on this page and why.
 •	I appreciate the deep dive into neurobiology and understanding dreams, however, the language used through many quotes in the paragraph is very scientific and probably difficult to understand for many readers. Sharing a simple summary and explanation especially about the brain's functioning could help here.
 •	Ah! I see you added two graphics at the very end of the page, maybe changing their location to be next to the respective text would be good, as I got confused before coming to the end of the page and seeing the images.
 •	I am also wondering how much of this text you actually wrote yourself and how much is copy pasted from other people work, would be great to make the quotes visible.
Australian Aboriginal Dreaming
	Love the Aboriginal proverb at the beginning and its rich, meaningful worldview behind. 
	I truly appreciate the background information provided on Aborigines living in Australia and the history of land and people as well as how you acknowledge the genocide and European invasion destroying Aboriginal culture, while also being clear that this is not content focus.
	Fascinating perspective the Aborigines have on dreaming and how it integrates into their spiritual, cultural and land-based way of living. I am particularly intrigued by the split between self and other, linear time and cyclical dream-time and how dreaming was practically integrated into their life.
	Some sentences especially in the „Dream for Aborigines“ and a little also in the next paragraph are written a little confusing and unclear. Check your language and do several rounds of editing to make sure the language is correct and texts clearly understandable.
	For mixed media like the video or image, it adds relevance and usefulness if you give some context, description (or even short summary for the video) and a clear link to the content.

Dreaming Stage – Dragon Dreaming
	Okay, this is the part I have been most interested in reading to learn more about theories and concepts of dreaming and specific how they relate to Dragon Dreaming, what role they play, how they affect the design thinking and how dreaming is applied for projects.
	In the first part of this page, it would make sense for me to combine the graphic with some further explanation and a general overview of the DD wheel before zooming in and focusing on the dreaming phase for a strong initial context, clarity and connection.
	This section of the „Myth and Symbols in Dragon Dreaming“ is a great example of what can be moved to the supportive evidence page. In the current form (not following the links) it does not contain any useful information and it does not seem to be important enough for the overall purpose of this OP page to be fully included in the core report.
	Interesting piece on awareness, specifically self-awareness as the foundation for relating to the world and doing projects. I am missing a stronger link to dreaming and how all of this information relates to project design and development.
	I like how you break down information for all three stages of awareness, motivation and gathering information including a definition of the terms, concepts and their role in Dragon Dreaming. I would have appreciated more details on practical application – to balance thinking and doing or just sharing some stories and examples from lived experience.
	Are these texts about the three stages in the dreaming quadrant written by you or do they come from the written documents of John Croft? Just for clarity.
	I would enjoy some more graphics and images to engage the visual learner inside ourselves.
	Interesting to read about the four phases of intention, possibility, action and feedback and how that is reflected (on a more individual level) in the four phases of the dreaming quadrant through awareness, motivation, information and revision.
	The paragraph „Integration Learning“ appears quite lengthy to me and could have been shortened and written in a more clear and concise way to communicate the information.
	Well done for researching and critically analyzing the written work of John Croft about Dragon Dreaming and finding gaps. The next question is how does your work contribute to the field, to filling this gap and adding value?
	I enjoyed reading about the application and integration of the Aboriginal perspectives on dreaming into Dragon Dreaming: the way it influences the dreaming circle and Karrabirdt and how understanding dreaming brings further depth to using these methods well. 
	Interesting that you point out the different worldviews and how Western people might have a lack of understanding and thus have challenges or misinterpret these methods which have an Aboriginal background e.g. linear vs. dream-time.
	Great to hear from your personal practice and experience of sharing dreams to create intimacy and community in groups and how it connects us to the mystery. 
	I would have loved to read more about practical ways and activities to work in the dreaming stage of DD, challenges, best practices and stories from you work or teachings.

Reflections
	The first sentence again is unclear, messy because of poor language and grammar, please do pay attention to that while proof-reading and get editing support for your OPs.
	Insightful reflections on the process of creating this OP and challenges, appreciation, support, outcomes, improvements and celebration. I appreciate the authentic, diverse and thoughtful perspective you share helping me to understand your process better.
	Interesting blend of the GaiaU three reflective questions about what is going well, challenging and what to improve with Dragon Dreaming process related questions.
	What the OP is missing so far is a section/page on pathway reflections including 1) a life and program update 2) pathway tracking with an evaluation and re-design of your program pathway, LIPD goals and skill-flex assessment 3) participation records (covered in supportive evidence page as I saw now) 4) managing time and promises with challenges, actions, tools and next steps and 5) project integration in your pathway and LIPD.

Supportive Evidence
 •	Good overview and valuable information in your digiphon, playlist and attached resource review. I can see how deeply you engaged with the topic to create this well researched OP!
 •	What I am missing here in the supportive evidence is materials and documents related to your research, project, thinking and design process as well as references to your work as a practitioner and teacher of Dragon Dreaming, e.g. projects using DD or courses done. 
 •	The two annex pages are technically also supportive evidence. For the future, I ask you to really make use of the supportive evidence section to share the depth and details of your thinking, research and work while using the core report to share the relevant highlights, core process and outcomes with readers – keep it concise, clear and informative.
 •	Great to read your reflections on your pathway, engagement with GaiaU and participation in the community. I am glad you did re-engage with GaiaU, have persistence to follow through even with an extended timeline and to know how interaction with people inspires and support you in the process as our main advising time is more limited.

OP Pro Reviews
	In your self-review form, I want to ask you to fill out and write comments for each field of all the PoDAPO criteria. If you are unsure what they mean, you can find descriptions of the review elements in one of the tabs of the spreadsheet. Also please grade yourself in the green boxes as part of the self-assessment.
	The peer review is incomplete as there was only a short comment in the text document attached. Your peer needs to download and fill out the OP 2-4 peer review form and use the PoDAPO criteria to evaluate and provide feedback.
	I do acknowledge that this is your first project OP and your journey understanding GaiaU has not been easy so far, so I hope my detailed feedback helps as well as your engagement in the advisor and mentor training. There are also additional resources on PoDAPO available on the GEL site for understanding and working with this set of criteria.