Page Intro
This page is the core report of my OP and details personal & professional reflections, patterns of engagement, design evolution, output packet work, projects, time management, edges, skill flexes, and outcomes harvested over the course of my capstone phase with Gaia U.
Project Scope
This project marks the final output packet of my journey with Gaia U. It is an overview of the projects, OPs, and overall learning experiences which I engaged in throughout my capstone phase as a Gaia associate. Through summarized retelling of key experiences and reflective analysis of design methodologies, patterns, edges, and technical as well as meta-level processes I share a consolidated report of what I have learned and harvested over the course of my capstone phase and overall pathway as a gaia associate.
Project Design
I designed this OP using Jennifer's basic template for an efficiently designed OP. Under her guidance during a visit at her home in Nashville I was able to simplify my approach in order to appropriately organize my OP and workflow in a functional and coherent way. Initially, I felt overwhelmed when analyzing best practices of other associates' OPs and after agreeing on action plans through Jen's guidance, I realized that the best way for me to proceed was to simplify my approach and focus on the bare essentials. Because my OPs don't usually cover aspects of my design processes in a conventional way, consequentially at times leaving out requirements, in this OP I have dedicated an entire page to the topic of design and my experience with it. In this way I am able to fulfill the requirement of an appropriately executed OP, covering all elements, including an in-depth report on the subject of design as well as my personal experience with it, finalizing in my last output packet, a consolidated analysis presenting what I have harvested from my overall work and learnings throughout the whole of my pathway.
Cumulative Reflection - Engagement & Design Evolution
Engagement
My engagement as a Gaia U associate during my capstone phase has revolved around a strong ambition to finally complete my bachelors degree in order to move forward with my life in a way that allows me to arrange my daily activities around my creative and professional work with music and other creative pursuits. I have been enrolled with Gaia since 2012, making this the 6 year mark of my engagement with the university. Because my pre-capstone cycle began with recording my first album, my life took a turn towards focusing primarily on music, promotion, networking, travel and community building which I ended up giving more attention to over my studies with Gaia, specifically in relation to output packet creation. Because of this, my first program cycle took a great deal longer than anticipated. Now after a more efficiently organized and more professionally-oriented capstone phase It is with excitement and anticipation that I create this OP5, marking my final output packet for Gaia U. Through my project work, output packets, and mentorship guidance, Gaia U has helped me to become a better organized, more efficiently self-managed, and overall more purposeful, practically oriented, and empowered human.
Design Evolution
My initial inclination towards design work through the use of models and tools was colored with feelings of excitement and possibility as I felt it helped me to systematically organize my thoughts (particularly related to meta-level ideas) and illuminate the patterns and fractal relationships embedded within a given thought form, experience, or creative process. I found that as my pathway unfolded and I began to actually implement my projects, over time it has been revealed to me that the more I actually engage in my creative endeavors and receive outcomes the less I am interested in analyzing the design processes therein. This is largely because the work I find the most joy and vitality in is music and the arts which for myself comes from a primarily intuitive source fueled by my inspiration and emotions rather than an analytical framework focused mainly from a mental perspective. Though logic and evaluation are necessary tools in my processes of refinement, my creative process benefits the most when I am less oriented within my mind and instead focused on a state of spaciousness and presence, responding primarily to my feelings in the moment rather than my thoughts and linear logic. Ultimately my goal is to engage with my project work (and life in general) in a union between these two states. Despite my personal preferences, Gaia has helped me to more effectively integrate the use of design tools and models which has helped me to more clearly understand my own creative processes and better organize my engagement with projects, music, band dynamics, and other creative pursuits.
Introduction
After 2 years of contemplative education at Naropa University in Boulder, CO, with an urge to travel and cultivate my artistic gifts, I embarked on my pathway as a Gaia associate in the winter of 2012. Attracted to Gaia's liberating structure I imagined my engagement as an opportunity to utilize its systems in order to better organize my own projects and learning experiences while also fulfilling my mothers' powerful maternal desire for me to receive a bachelors degree.
My pre-capstone phase (2012-2015) consisted of projects and output packets following my personal journey of transformation, creative expansion, and introspection surrounding my work and learnings within music, community, leadership, project development, and self-reflection. My capstone phase (summer 2015 - early 2017) has been a natural continuation of these subjects while building upon projects from the first cycle and simultaneously refining my skills in design, implementation, and communication in the forms of creative projects, professional development and Output Packets.
My engagement with design has been primarily intuitive, manifesting as an 'in the moment' style of approach when developing projects and OPs. The bulk of my pathway has focused on my project and professional development in the fields of music creation, performance, and production, along with leadership, community facilitation & engagement, and self-transformation. Because my tendency is to approach projects and reports from a more poetic storytelling/narrative framework my greatest challenge has been integrating design tools, critical evaluation, and strategic analysis methodologies into my work. My intention with this report is to integrate these facets while at the same time staying true to my poetic spirit, consolidating my topics and criteria into an artful union of design assessment and narrative reflection.
Skill-Flex Assessment
Qualitative Skill-Flex Assessment
Professional Music Focus
My primary focus and overall creative orientation in life since the summer of 2015 has been dedicated to developing myself as a professional musician, song-writer, recording engineer, producer, performer and band leader/manager. Since July 2015 I recorded and mixed my second full length album, engineered and produced a fellow artists' record, formed a full live band, played over 30+ shows, moved to Los Angeles, signed with a record label which released our album on vinyl, CD, cassette, and digital formats, created three music videos, booked and played a three week tour along the west coast of the US, and recently finished tracking a six song EP at our friends' studio recorded entirley on analog tape.
I attribute these strides in my professional and project orientated skill-flex development to personal dedication and steadfast commitment along with the fact that I have chosen to root down in one place and effectively integrate myself into a larger framework of the world and community of professional artists. Between the ages of 19-23 (and my pre-capstone phase of Gaia U) I focused mostly on the absorption of mindfulness practices and self-development traditions with an attitude of personal cultivation and self-empowerment, holding art and music with the same value as I always have but with less initiative to actualize it as a profession and critical point of focus. other than my first album made in 2012 and a short run with a band I assembled at the time, I focused primarily on traveling, networking, exploring, dreaming of creative endeavors and enthusiastically aspiring towards ideals. After traveling through South America and returning home to Catalina Island I stayed put for two years, recording an album as well as working locally as a server and musician. This time helped me prepare for my move to Los Angeles where I now reside and am pursuing a career in music continuing to expand my network through a vast community of artists and musicians, allowing for greater opportunities in personal growth, creative expansion, and professional development.
Health & Consciousness
Aside from creative, professional, and interpersonal/community growth and development, I have noticed in recent months that I have lost consistency in my more meditative and ceremonial orientated practices. My values for these traditions and forms of honoring life have not changed though because my focus has been centered solely on music, professionalism, and integrating myself into the larger framework of the world, I have given less of my energy to these practices which I previously invested a lot of energy and cultivation in. Because I still strongly value these areas of my life, my intention is to again flex these skills and bring greater balance into my life through a daily meditation practice for 10 minutes a day and to attend my first vipassana retreat by the end of 2017 or the beginning of 2018 as I feel it will be a deeply efficient way to process on a more internal level all that has conspired over the past two years, where I am now, and where I'm headed. Also, although I have a pretty solidly consistent exercise program my intentions are also to begin a Qi Gong practice and to do some sort of dance form on a weekly basis.
Catalina & Community
Lastly, the skillflex which I had intended to invest more energy in before music became the prominent factor was my engagement with the community of Avalon on Catalina where I was living. Though I did not remain consistent in this goal over time (largely due to the fact that I moved off the Island) I am happy with the small things that were accomplished such as 3 or 4 successful community poetry nights, sidewalk mandala chalk art meet-ups, inspiring community discussions, and group wilderness journeys. Because Avalon is a square mile town, I saw much potential for the community to become a more conscious and regeneratively minded place, ideally utilizing alternative energy solutions such as desalinization, solar power, and water catchment systems, along with mobilizing the town around efforts towards establishing community gardens and grey water systems. After living there for two years I understood the amount of energy and commitment it would take to actualize such things and as music became my central focus, it was apparent that I wouldn't be able to do both at the same time in an efficient or effective way, thus led my decision to move off the Island and further pursue my musical and creative goals in Los Angeles.
LIPD Reflection
Timeline
Progress
The progression projected from the above timeline turned out differently than originally planned. My initial goal was to effectively complete my capstone cycle in 8 months (Aug 2015-March 2016). This ultimately spanned into 27 months and my attention was inevitably diverted from Gaia work as my music career gained more and more momentum as soon as I started my capstone phase. My work with Ecstatic Union and other artistic projects was so personally vitalizing that I felt compelled to devote the majority of my attention to it, effectively shifting my focus from Gaia to my professional development. This along with moving to Los Angeles and going on tour pushed my initial timeline projection much further than originally planned.
Process Reflection
In reflection of my LIPD in which I projected and planned my capstone phase, though I didn't follow the timeline as accurately as planned, I am pleased with my progress and present development. Project wise, I completed everything I set out to do while naturally adjusting certain elements to better fit the organic unfolding of my pathway as it progressed. This is specifically reflected by example in my OP4 where I originally planned (in my LIPD) to focus on the creation of my new album along with community engagement and personal development. As my pathway unfolded, responding to my relationships, deductive reasoning, and intuitive insight, I compiled my original ideas for OPs 3 & 4 into one (OP3) while the natural progression foreword resulted in the subject of OP4 surrounding the growth, dynamics, and professional development of my band, 'Ecstatic Union', which was also my central focus and access point for community engagement.
Some of the greatest lessons experienced during my pathway have been focused on realistic projection, patience, and gradual development. Through careful long term planning, mentorship guidance, and learned organizational skills the structure of Gaia U has aided me in becoming a more efficient, professional, and practically oriented person. In this way I have learned to develop projects by first creating a solid foundation allowing me to gain results at a steady pace without loosing sight of my core intent by getting caught up in projected outcomes or fears of failure. By evaluating my resources and materials at hand and then projecting a practical pathway forward based on present skills and a realistic appraisal of goals, I have developed a greater patience and gratitude for the process of detailed project design and implementation.
Skillflex Map
The skill flex map below shows how I rated my progress in the given areas between 1-10. 1 represents an amateur understanding and approach while 10 symbolizes a highly evolved level of understanding, experience and command over the subject. As an example of how my skill flex evolved, In songwriting there's primarily a 3-4 numerical leap pattern which I feel was achieved by a more poetic and symbolic orientation towards writing lyrics along with a refinement on song structure including both diversifying my creative approach making songs more dynamic, while also focusing on simplicity and directness of structure. The performance and professional development sections show a pattern of more dramatic increase. This is largely because my decisions and life direction were oriented upon this focus, causing me to provide a more significant amount of energy and attention to these subjects.
5 P's
Personal
The sphere of my personal life has undergone significant transformation throughout the whole of my capstone phase. After a four year battle with Leukemia, my stepfather Paxson passed just two months before I began my Capstone journey. He was the core father figure for 18 years of my life and so many layers and lessons of my inner process, patterns, and behavior took on another perspective as I adjusted to the transition. Though he no longer inhabits the body we related to him in, I feel him continue to bless my life from beyond this dimension. Also during this time I moved homes, started working as a buser at a local restaurant as well as a paid musician on weekends in the town plaza. During all of this I was simultaneously developing a deeper bond with my blood father, Frank, as he became a daily fixture of friend, helper, adventure buddy, and loving ally in my life on a daily basis. This capstone cycle has also been focalized by certain key relationships and the processes through which they've evolved. From housemates, to bandmates, lovers, co-workers, allies and parents, all of these relationships have revealed significant lessons in the unfolding of my personal journey of self-actualization. My relationship to place and a sense of belonging has also been a central theme during this cycle. After living for a solid two years back in my hometown of Avalon on Catalina Island, I rediscovered the sense of awe, magic, and dreamlike warmth that I felt there as a child, enhanced by a greater sense of purpose and connection within myself, the community and to the land. Venturing forth into the vast lands of Los Angeles, moving first to Topanga Canyon and eventually to Echo Park, I have begun the process of integrating myself into the larger framework of the world community at large, embracing city life as a revitalizing opportunity for growth, progress, and evolution.
Professional
My professional undertakings have been the primary focus of my capstone phase. From working my first jobs in the service industry, to persuing consistent work as a paid musician, assembling a well-functioning and solidly established live band, self-producing a full-length album, and ultimately moving into Los Angeles in order to further my career as a professional musician, the bulk of my undertakings and energy investment has been aimed towards professional cultivation. Throughout my capstone phase I have continuously aimed my efforts towards understanding my gifts and consistently learning more deeply how to develop and harness them into viable offerings. Besides this manifesting externally as my development as a professional musician it has occurred internally as a more methodical, organized, practical, and direct approach towards life in general, aligning myself in a way so that I am able to respond to life in the most appropriate way when the moment beckons. I am learning to move with slower stride in thought and action in order to proceed with my undertakings in a more balanced and aware way, understanding that actualizing myself in the world is something that takes time, patience, cultivation, learning, and gradual development. I feel that for my efforts and offerings to have lasting effects, this slower and more methodical approach towards professional cultivation is necessary, providing a solid base of stability from which to launch and manifest my goals into the world.
Project
Aside from creating output packets, my primary project work focused on music production (engineering/recording/mixing) along with leading and managing my band, Ecstatic Union. I recorded the second full length Ecstatic Union album, the full process of which (recording & mixing) lasted from July 2016 to April 2017. Soon after I engineered/produced my friend Kasies' first album, who's project is called Coyote Run, another band which I play drums in for live performances. My OPs 3 & 4 covered in the detail the design processes and dynamics which went into my recording process (OP3) and assembling, performing with, managing, and sustaining my band, Ecstatic Union (OP4). Both of these projects are ongoing in the sense that I am devoting energy to the cultivation of them in my daily life. They are also mutually supportive as with the release of the album comes exposure and representation of the band and visa versa. the album is due for release in June 2017 and will be followed by a month long tour beginning in July.
Peer
My peer engagement throughout this phase focused around key relationships primarily in reference to creative projects. Oliver and Blake, my bandmates, housemates, and friends were my closest domestic, creative, and work-oriented relationships during this time as we'd play as a three piece acoustic act every weekend for five months, consistently practiced a cappella harmonies & composition arrangements together, and helped each other craft each others' individual musical offerings. In early 2016 I rekindled my friendship and creative collaboration with sonic comrade, Paul Olsen whom helped me mix my album as well as become the on call drummer for Ecstatic Union when we perform live. Another core relationship and the one which eventually demanded the most of my energy by the end of my capstone phase was my friend/ex-girlfriend, Kasie. I helped her record her first full length album, played drums in her band, Coyote Run, and she played organ for Ecstatic Union. After some time, due to multiple reasons, I found it no longer healthy for myself or the band to continue our romantic relationship. All of these relationships have taught me tremendously and continue to do so as my life unfolds. In terms of Gaia U, all of my 'guild buddies' (Mallika, Ivy, and Lauren) have dropped out of the program. Reestablishing new support relationships in Gaia U among peers with whom I feel resonant has been challenging. My most consistent and reliable connection has been with my main advisor, Jen English. Though our primary points of contact were through email and phone on around a bi-monthly basis, in February while making this OP, I visited her at her home is Nashville where over the course of four days she helped me to consolidate my efforts and organize my task list in order to ensure a clear path forward in the completion of my OP5 and overall capstone phase.
Patrix
My access point of engagement with helping to dismantle the patrix is through music. Personally this is through my intention to make music that inspires and uplifts the listener, noted in my capstone phase through engagement with my band, Ecstatic Union, and the recording of my second full length album which centers around themes of nature connection, self-reflection, and personal empowerment. In recent months my music was featured as the background tracks to a series of promotional videos for the 'Earth Journeys Sustainable Living Tour' which is a traveling caravan of permaculturists stopping at multiple communities throughout the US to help with various regenerative projects and educational workshops. My work as an independent musician is aimed towards empowering the individual listener while also impacting the overall field in a positive way, my intention being to steer the collective towards greater unity, community resilience, and empowerment.
Patterns
Below I will illuminate notable patterns related to specified areas of focus and activity.
OPs
- General pattern of of action consisting of focused OP creation workflow for two to three week periods, breaking to relax and/or because of a 'life-hapenig-priority reorientation', then pick up work again to complete reviews and submit output (usually after 2 weeks to a month of time-off).
- An overall more consistent work-flow of output work and efficient time management not implemented during my previous cycle.
- Designed OPs both around previously implemented projects as well as current and ongoing ones.
Project Work
- All project work during capstone phase focused on musical creation and design processes including recording and leading/managing my band Ecstatic Union.
- Notable pattern of implementation processes beginning with action learning through learning by studying another's methods, experimenting myself, and then imparting the information and experience on others by sharing and helping them produce their own own. This is most notably mentioned in my OP3.
Peer Engagement
- My peer engagement patterns (in relation to Gaia) have occurred primarily with my main advisor, Jen English, on around a bi-monthly basis, and with other associates when in a phase of peer review.
- A pattern witnessed throughout both cycles has been guild buddies of mine dropping out of their Gaia program. This has happened with four different associates who are still friends of mine but no longer affiliate themselves with Gaia.
Time Management
- Kept consistent track of time promises, pauses, and re-negotioations.
- Pattern of creating initial timeline mapping trajectory, re-evaluation/re-organization, and appropriate implementation based on new plan.
Design Process
- Overall intuitive and inspirationally driven design processes.
- Structural analysis of design framework organized and presented in retrospect of project rather than during the initial creative process.
- Pattern process of initial inspiration - vigorous implementation - rest/reflect/reorient - organize/evaluate - systematic execution - refinement - integration/reflection
OP 1-4 Abstract
OP1b
The learning intentions and pathway design output packet is essentially a design plan and projection map for the program phase ahead. In this OP I set out to design a clear pathway forward planning my projects and OPs around realistic goals which followed the natural progression and focus of my life at the time. I decided to focus my OP work on a mix of past projects and experiences as well as the present developments occurred and organically evolved over the course of my capstone phase. My intention was to create clarity for my pathway forward while providing myself with a well designed road map that I could use in order to plan my active/pause months and complete my OPs in a timely manner.
OP2
OP2, My first project output packet of my capstone phase was a documentary account and experiential education report based on my attendance in month long a transformational plant medicine and indigenous wisdom immersion program with the Paititi Institute in the Peruvian Amazon. I recount my personal experiences with self-transformation, deep reflection, and community engagement while also detailing the design of the retreat, internal/external personal/interpersonal dynamics, along with an educational overview of what I learned about plant medicine, indigenous healing, amazonian/andean cosmovision & culture, and intentional community. My OP was also a research analysis and educational report regarding the background science and cultural heritage of plant medicines with which we were learning about and experiencing during the program.
Outcomes
- Most elegantly designed OP to date including photos, audio, and a highly organized flow of material and subject matter.
- Deeper integration of lessons, education, and reflections from my experience with Paititi and south american immersion.
- A well made report and output packet which I am proud of and happy to share
OP3
In this OP I detailed my design process and personal experience of my learning journey in the art of music engineering, recording, and production. This project reflected a two part process first focusing on my experiences from the year previous by detailing my processes with learning how to record both with help from my mentor relationships and firsthand experience through producing others' music. The second part detailed the section of my project work in which, after my skill level was proficient enough with the equipment and work-flow, I proceeded to record my own music, eventually self-engineering my second full length album. I cover the essentials of my recording process included design, dynamics, challenges, and inspiration, while also reflecting on lessons both in my personal work and in regards to the relationships which aided me through mentorship and an action learning approach.
Outcomes
- A deeper understanding of how I have grown in my creative and professional understanding and approach in the field of music engineering, recording and production.
- A completed second full length 'Ecstatic Union' album, produced and engineered completely by myself.
- A greater ability to help others record and produce their own music.
- An OP which acts as an essential road marker in reflecting on my growth and development as an evolving professional music producer.
OP4
My final capstone project output packet analyzed the design process, details, organization, and dynamic structure of my experience with band leadership and management along with the personal and professional engagements and lessons explored and received throughout. I also focus on the world change elements, community engagement, and business dynamics of my experience in bringing Ecstatic Union as a professional live band into the world. The critical equation section of this OP includes a research report in which I explore the field of music in relation to the work of others in comparison as well as contrast to my own, while at the same time show the effect music has on other areas of life and media such as advertising, emotions, creativity, and consciousness. I designed this OP based off of Sophie Viandier's OP4 which was based off of an OP design template made by my main advisor, Jen English.
Outcomes
- A well designed output packet with a nice flow of information, media styles, and subjects.
- A more reflective and introspective look at my engagement with leadership and my newfound orientation towards professional action and development.
- A fully functioning live band which has become the core focus of personal, project, and professional work in my present life.
- Implementing this project and designing an OP around it has helped me to view the foundation of my work in music from a more practical and professional perspective, providing me with a more stable orientation in which to design and develop future goals and projects.