Output Package 6--Learning Review: Core Report

I began my Master’s Degree with Gaia University in 2011 with great ambition.  I wanted to partner with Gaia University and organize our already existing community and educational programs into a Gaia University Regional Operating Center.  During my orientation at RDI in California I used the words “fiercely determined” to describe my attitude toward manifesting this intention.  

As I was working on my Learning Intentions and Pathway Design, I noticed that becoming a regional center for Gaia U might be a result of my endeavors but was it was not my prime directive.  I realized that what I really wanted to do was put my energy toward creating an educational institute that embodied my own educational values.  As I explored this idea with my community I learned that there were others who also had an interest in organizing ourselves into some sort of educational center and something began to take root here at Sunrise Ranch.

 In early 2012 we formed a board to oversee the creation of this educational institute, which at that time we called the “Sunrise Institute for Education and the Arts.” I was truly excited to see some very tangible steps being taken to actually get such an endeavor off the ground. 

In this process, however, I realized that in order to co-create this with other members of my community, I had to let go of some of the specific ways in which I envisioned this institute forming.   I had articulated my vision very specifically in my OP1B, but now I needed to be open and receptive to the collective wisdom of the board. 

A learning edge that I have explored since then has to do with finding a balance between asserting my own vision and opinions about how something should be; and allowing others to express themselves creatively into a situation.  I feel as though this is a delicate balance because if I do not exercise good listening, or allow others to take responsibility for certain aspects of an idea or vision, then I miss out on many opportunities to collaborate, work together as a team, and capitalize on the skills and talents of others.  I do not want to be dogmatic and squash the enthusiasm of those I am working with because I insist on doing it my way.  On the other hand, if I am not solid with my direction in life, then the opinions of others may influence me to be off course with what I hope to accomplish in life.  Moreover, sometimes what a situation needs most is for someone to step up and offer some guidance and direction to everyone involved. 

This skill of knowing when to assert my leadership and when to allow a situation to unfold organically was not one that I originally anticipated being important for my process, but over the past year and a half, I have been presented with many opportunities to explore this learning edge. 

In the case of the educational institute here at Sunrise Ranch, I feel I reached a good balance last season of allowing the institute to unfold organically while putting in my two cents.  With that said, I am glad to be re-visiting my original intentions around this endeavor.  It has reminded me of the passion I carry for education and, seeing as our board has somewhat dissipated over the last year, I think the time could be ripe for me to once again re-iterate my vision to the community.  My end of year presentation could be the perfect opportunity to do this. 

My first project with Gaia University was the development of the Sunrise Ranch Permaculture Design Course and the launching of the 2012 Permaculture Work Study Program (OP2).  While collaborating with the other teachers I had another opportunity to dance the dance between bringing my warrior leadership and my open, receptive, teamwork.  I created the course with three other permaculture teachers, all of whom had more experience than I.  Obviously I had a wonderful learning opportunity to co-create with these three other teachers but that didn’t mean that I could just sit back and let them do the work of creating the curriculum, developing the course schedule, and running the course.  Even though I was the least experienced teacher, I was still the one holding the point of leadership focus for this course to come into being.  I feel like I was able to hold a solid container in which their skills and talents were allowed to shine while at the same time use my authority to keep the content cohesive, the course on schedule, and ultimately build a wonderful, inter-dependent relationship with the other teachers.  In fact, both Jason and Joel will be returning to assist in teaching our 2013 Permaculture Design Course.

My second project with Gaia (OP3) was to create a permaculture design for our garden area at Sunrise Ranch with a particular emphasis on the waste water system upgrade that is required of us by the state of Colorado.  This was an incredible exploration and utilization of permaculture design on our property and taught me much about my passion and capacity for permaculture design.

When considering the design for our new waste water treatment plant, I felt that there must be some way to make use of the excessive water, nitrogen, and other fertile elements contained in a community's waste water, rather than just treating it as a waste product and neutralizing its environmental detriment.   I was determined to bring some possible alternative designs to the attention of the decision makers.  I tried my best to present a case for installing an alternative system such as a constructed wetland and even brought in the help of an engineering company who specializes in such designs.  I knew in my heart that a more natural system was going to save money in the long term (mainly in the form of electricity costs saved from not having to run as many pumps as the conventional system), it was going to create more wildlife habitat and species diversity in our valley, and would be a step in the direction of becoming a more energy independent and regenerative community.  At one point I even flew the idea of using our waste water to grow water-cleaning plants such as cattails for the purpose of distilling the plant material into an ethanol to be used as fuel.  I applied sound reasoning to my ideas, and I am sure that in the future our society is going to catch on to the importance of converting our waste products into valuable resources, but at the end of the day, when the rubber hit the road on this project it came down to capital investment and the conventional system was cheaper to install then the alternative proposal. 

What I learned most from this experience was how passionate I am about permaculture design—especially when applied on the community scale.  I also realized that a sound permaculture design or any community scale water design for that matter can only benefit from a baseline of civil engineering knowledge.  I strongly considered applying to Colorado State University’s Civil and Environmental Engineering program to increase my capacities as a designer and to earn a degree that would give more credibility to my designs.   In fact, as I once again reflect  on my OP3, I am conscious of feelings of excitement and passion inside me.  I am happy to be aware of these emotions and feel compelled to allow them to inform my decisions regarding my future.  Perhaps an engineering degree is on the horizon for me.

Ahh, the work study program (OP4).  I sigh when I reflect upon this cycle of my life because it was filled with so many successes, challenges, and life lessons.  My capacities as a teacher and leader were tested last season and in some cases I emerged successful, and in others I learned the hard way about things I need to improve upon.  On the one hand I can look back on last season with feelings of discouragement and if I were to give up, that feeling of failure would stick with me.  However, I have made the choice to embrace all the lessons that came to me last year and utilize them as footholds in my ascent toward becoming a great teacher.  I am going all in this season with the intention of applying the wisdom gained from seasons past, and an understanding that I will likely make new mistakes that I will have to overcome and will ultimately add value to my experience as a teacher. 

Returning to the theme of finding a balance between expressing strong leadership and allowing a situation to unfold organically, the work study program is an area where I intend on bringing more warrior energy to the leadership side of things.  Not because I feel the need to exert more power into the situation, but because I feel the need to demonstrate an unwavering confidence in my capacities as a teacher, in the way I have designed the program, and in the reasons why I have chosen this profession.  This confidence will be felt by my students and will allow me to serve as an anchor point for them as they explore their own learning.   I see my role as a teacher as expressing my own passion for the subject matter thus inspiring the students to pursue their own passion.  I want to challenge their leading edges with evocative questions and meaningful tasks, and I want to show them the joy of living this lifestyle.   I am putting myself out there again this season and facing my fears around inadequacy as a teacher and leader.  I pray for guidance as I continue to take steps in the direction of fulfilling my life’s purpose.

Output package 5 was the most generative project that I accomplished with Gaia University.  It documented the design and installation of a series of retaining walls and the construction of a patio, while at the same time followed the formation of my new ecological landscape design and build company, Padden Permaculture.  The project and output package represents a culmination of professional experience with dynamic life circumstances.  I had been on pause with Gaia for nearly a year and a half, searching for direction in my professional life before finally realizing the opportunity to stack functions and achieve the following two goals:  1. complete the one remaining project necessary to graduate Gaia University and obtain my Masters in Integrative Eco-Social Design and 2. Design a personal livelihood and a career.  

The interesting aspect about this particular output cycle, was that it came at a point in my life where I was experiencing a great transition.  I had left the safety net of intentional community and was on my own, providing for my family for the first time.  The biggest learning that came from the OP5 cycle is my capacity to participate in mainstream enterprise while not only upholding my values and life mission, but amplifying them too.