Key Un/Learnings
In terms of my key un/learnings from my experience with Paititi and the retreat as a whole I
- Have gained better understanding (through living and participating directly with the facilitators) regarding the amount of energy, time, intention, logistics, and attention to detail is required to maintain a center, organize, provide services, amenities, and activities for a retreat of this kind. I was able to note how I would do certain things differently while still remaining open and grateful for the experience I was being offered. This also allowed me to more realistically view my relationship to leadership and community, recognizing that although I would love to be able to facilitate group experiences similar to this one, I have re-directed/prioritized my focus to be first on cultivating myself, beginning with practical steps toward personal development, and with time, ultimately becoming an empowered, trusted, and reliable resource to my community.
The un/learnings regarding my personal engagement with plant medicine, Paititi ceremonies, and the transformational process are
- That humility, compassion, trust, commitment, and practicality, are fundamental characteristics in relationship to my process of self-development, empowerment, and personal evolution. Through at times I felt resistance and resentment towards elements of the retreat, after voicing these thoughts and emotions in a group or 1 on 1 setting, sitting in solitude, and journaling, I was able to find equanimity and humble myself to the reality that everything I didn't like about what was occurring externally had something to do with my own projections and reflections from within, which were mirrored by the collective. These realizations caused me to dig deeper and follow the roots of certain aversions, stale beliefs, and old attitudes which no longer serve my growth or holistic purpose. Through recognizing the still immature and maternally dependent attitudes within my psyche (largely revealed through my work with Ayahuasca), and by choosing to elevate my thought and action to a higher and more integrated perspective, I have been able to refer and reflect on these experiences in my daily life, committing in an honest way to a more mature, practical, and realistic engagement with life. A supreme harvest from this experience has been the humbling practice of finding peace and compassion for myself and my environment even when I feel challenged or uncomfortable with what I perceive as unideal external circumstances, finding a smile on my face even when the going gets tough.
Inspirations & Next Steps
In terms of what I have harvested from my experience with Paititi, my next steps are to
- Continue my personal journey of transformation and personal evolution through a commitment to self-love as well as the cultivation and sharing of my gifts and abilities.
- Harness the lessons and experiences I encountered during this time in order to channel them into practical and creative pursuits i.e. producing art which communicates and reflects the imagery and essence of these experiences as well as organizing and prioritizing my life in way which allows me to become more realistic, grounded, and independent.
- Utilize the practices I learned (Qi Gong, shaolin workout, amazonian breathwork) and integrate them into my personal nourishment routine as well as share them with others.
- Reflect again on the core lessons and patterns which emerged during the retreat, see how they relate to my life at present, and meditate on how I can more deeply integrate these experiences to become an even more empowered and effective human, ever growing and evolving both for myself and the collective.
- Further my study, education, research, and personal relationship with the science of plant wisdom traditions and the plant spirits themselves for a deeper experience and understanding of their psycho-spiritual components, their therapeutic benefits and how they can be utilized for healing, inspiration, and collective evolution.
Conclusion
My experiences with Paititi will remain with me forever as fundamental reference points of deep pealing, nature connection, community immersion, and personal growth as I reflect upon and continue my own evolution and transformational process. I continue to learn from my experiences there as I process and reflect upon them in my daily life. Lots of information, teachings, and intensity was digested at this time, the puzzle pieces to certain inner questions, mysteries, and memories still continue to integrate themselves into a coherent framework within my awareness. I have been positively influenced on multiple levels of my being from my participation in this retreat and am forever grateful for the lessons, valuable memories, and nourishing community connections that these experiences have brought into my life.
OP Reflections
This has been my most prolific output to date. This retreat impacted me deeply and creating a project sharing what I learned, felt, and processed has been a very satisfying experience. Not only has this helped me to integrate what I experienced there on a deeper level but through sharing the information and teachings of these lineages and practices, designing an accessible framework to detail design processes, and conveying my personal experience, I have become aware to a greater degree of how much I really learned. I am also really inspired to have a highly structured format in which to detail and share these experiences for the Gaia community and the world as a whole. This report contains the highest content of media including photos, sound files, and video I have ever included in an output packet. I documented this experience well while participating in the retreat and it has definitely paid off for this project in terms of content and detail. I also made an effort to include outside sources including information and quotes to support my topics, include refferences, and note evidence of similar work in the field. Though tedious photo sizing, mahara formatting troubleshoot experiments, and layout design challenges ensued, I was able, through a process of trial and error, to maintain a steady work flow to eventually design and present what I consider my most successful output yet.