SECTION 1 DESIGNING MY LIFE: WORK WITH NATURE
Water is the prime designer: through gravity and persistence--with a spirit of yielding--it carves serpentine chasms through landscapes, shaping watersheds, ultimately descending to the lowest point, rejoining the oneness of the sea. Emulating water in the design of my life and mimicking nature in general yields a story of graceful acceptance and flow.
The ancient art of Feng Shui, translated as Wind Water, points toward the ease, fluidity and balance that comes from mimicking nature in the design of our landscapes, homes and lives. After Vision Questing in the Santa Lucia Mountains of Big Sur with the Esselen tribe, I was given the name Asumpa which translates "flowing as the wind and water." Like any watercourse way, I have serpentined around hard rocks and leapt from high cliffs while patiently eroding the hard spaces through life.
I design the story of my life flowing like a river in which I attain balanced happiness through self-awareness. I contend that we exist in a worldview that is separate from and aims at subjugating nature. Our cultural mythology defines success as becoming a productive cog in the economic machine of industrialized materialistic 20th century America. Efficiency and money are paramount. In an attempt to countermap this view, I reject the fall from Eden and hold nature as the prime designer that I wish to emulate and embrace, as do Taoists and many indigenous cultures. Rather than yielding to our nation's demand to be economically productive, I choose to see my own happiness and balance as the goal of my story.
(Click Buckminster Fuller photo to see quote)
UNKNOWN GOOD BENEFITS --
Life flows when we follow signs of synchronicity, but life compounds difficulty when we struggle, resist and seek inappropriate personal gain. I want to be confident and assertive enough to ask for what I want. I also want to be receptive and yielding enough to not force it when it isn't forthcoming.
See optional supplemental article "King Minos"
Least Change for Greatest Effect
Childhood / High School
Information is a Resource
In my childhood, I was particularly good at math and science. I loved physics: formulating laws that governed our world. I could program computers in BASIC, Fortran, Pascal, C and lisp before leaving high school and spent two summers working in a learning robotics laboratory at CMU. I was good at operating within set rules at games like chess, equations and linguistics. I also loved puzzles that encouraged me to think outside the box. From a physical point of view, most of my learning came in the arena of structured athletic sports: captain of the soccer team and competitor in swimming, tennis and lacrosse.
TASSAJARA : Catch & Store Energy
While working at Esalen, I requested working six months per year. I loved my job and the community of Esalen and yet I knew that I wanted to travel the world. As I was searching for my co-chef, Tassajara Zen Monastery asked if I would like to be one of their massage therapists. Training in massage therapy, I hadn't ever intended to make it my life work. Since beginning work at Tassajara in the summer of 2004, I have been a nomad in central California each summer and I travel tropically in the winter months. inspiring my nomadic existence. The peaceful, meditative presence immanent in the land of Tassajara is palpable and I often say that "Doing massage at Tassajara is a practice in getting out of the way and allowing the healing energy to flow." Tassajara reminds me of the Taoist concept of Wu-wei "effortless doing;" the water I seek to emulate flows down the Tassajara Creek where the springs pop from the ground, reminding me of the Buddhist principle that to desire not to desire is not being free from desire. One who seeks enlightenment is barely on the path. Tassajara, a Zen monastery, supports their practice by opening as a monastery/spa from May through September. So the universe offered me a summer job in California doing something new that I loved while offering me the winters to travel the tropics. I have been nomadic since 2004.
HOMESTEADING BAJA: All principles
I moved to Baja in the winter of 2006 with my partner to caretake a 15 acre permaculture site. My family then bought an acre of land; I have spearheaded much of the development. This was the first garden that felt like my own. Homesteading an acre of property in Baja has given me hands on experience with plumbing greywater, solar electricity, planting a food forest, creating humus through mulching, growing loads of plants from seeds and cuttings: guava, suriname cherry, passionfruit, pomegranate, baobab, caesalpinia, plumeria, roses, hibiscus, white sage.
This development inspired me to take several solar courses at the Solar Living Institute and it is a playground and the inspiration for my passion in the world of permaculture.
(SEE Supplemental)
HERBALIST : Use & Value Renewable Resources & Services
In conjunction with enrolling for my master's degree with Gaia, I enrolled in Michael Tierra's East West Herbology two year herb program. I plan on making herbs a concentration within my studies at Gaia. It appears to be the perfect web connecting as a chef, a healer and a gardener.
Creating Guilds within my Personal Ecology
SECTION 2 : STORYTELLING, SYNCHRONICITY and LITERARY CRITICISM
OBSERVE & INTERACT
My B.A. in Literature at Stanford University inspired me to develop my character as the protagonist in my novel. I am empowered to tell the story of my life as the story I wish to tell. Key values in my story include happiness, harmony, health, balance, pleasure and autonomy. Themes I appreciate include nature, community, water, love, self fulfilling prophecy, learning, and freedom.
Reading literary criticism sharpens my lens and gives me, the protagonist, the terms and the tools to examine my life. I ask how I can be of true value to humanity while living a balanced, joyful existence as I read the symbols of the moment to shape my flow. I invite myself to write the story of my life through the lens of seeing where I have arrived as exactly where I should be. The designer becomes the recliner. As I seek ease in the story of my life, I create it.
(See optional Supplemental Article Meaning Making -- All Supplemental articles are downloadable tabs in the margin.)
THE PROBLEM IS AN OPPORTUNITY --
I want the story of my life to have an attitude of gratitude. Sitting in the hallway of my freshman dorm at Stanford, my new buddy Nate articulated "Spending our energy realizing why right now is perfect is so much more useful than trying to control the future." His words put a spin on the optimism of my life: with a limited quantity of energy, the more significant payoff is to rationalize/realize why right now is perfect. Literary criticism celebrates all aspects of a novel; tragedy creates depth. Certainly life has its ups and downs; strength of character is remaining noble and positive when times are tough-- and realizing that even the challenges are perfect.
History is written by the victors. I reap the spoils of my lIfe if I choose myself as the winner of my life. There is a two way causality between writing myself as the victor of my life and being the victor. I'm sure which ways that river flows.
Positive reinforcement works better for me than negative reinforcement or punishment. Encouraging the actions and attributes of others that I appreciate guides others toward actions I appreciate. I haven't had much success in changing all the bad habits i see in other people. I don't respond well to negative reinforcement; praising me for what you enjoy from me will surely get you more of that.
EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED : SYNCHRONICITY
Many parents consistently make up stories to explain the ubiquitous 'why' to a child. Rarely do I hear "I don't know" or that there are many factors influencing all events. Our western mind seems determined to create the causal link.
In his preface to Richard Wilhelm's translation of the I Ching, Carl Jung states
"It is a curious fact that such a gifted and intelligent people as the Chinese has never developed what we call science. Our science, however, is based upon the principle of causality . . . [through] modern physics, the axioms of causality are being shaken to their foundations . . . whereas
synchronicity takes the coincidence of events in space and time as meaning something more than mere chance, namely, a peculiar interdependence of objective events among themselves as well as with the subjective (psychic) states of the observer or observers."
(Full quote, tap the yin yang)
Synchronicity is reinforcement in my "story" that this path is perfect. Synchronicity, in the lens of literary criticism, is the recurring themes and symbols within the novel. As themes develop and variation plays in, I gain confidence of the path that I am forging. When themes repeat and symbols collude, I feel secure and easeful that my path is flowing perfectly.
SECTION 3 -- BODY of LEARNING : ZONE 0
Self-Awareness is an instrumental aspect of attaining happiness. Noticing the edge between effort and ease aims at creating balance in our life. Learning is a key value for me and my family. Books, a pointer toward learning, line most of the rooms in my childhood home. Beyond simply learning content, the process of learning was encouraged through reading, puzzles, and games.
DIVERSITY YIELDS STABILITY --
Globalization has created a breadth of knowledge, experience and skills possible today. I aspire to be the New Age Renaissance Man: Scientist, Computer programmer, Poet, Chef, Living Foods Cleanser, Massage Therapist, Shamanic Healer, Beekeeper, Cheesemaker, Herbalist, Yogi, Chi Gong-er, Facilitator for workshops and group communication, Non Violent Communicator, Somatically Aware Dancer, Gardener, Seed Saver, Soil Builder, Water Manager, Solar Energy Installer, Artist and Craftsman. These are some of the skills and information I've absorbed on my path of specialized generalist.
Esalen expanded my awareness of the human experience from a body/mind duality to a body/mind/spirit/soul synthesis. Vision Quests with the Esselen tribe inspired me to recognize these four aspects of myself and correlate them with the four cardinal directions/elements/seasons/learning:
Body/East/Earth/Spring/Physical,
Spirit/South/Fire/Summer/Spiritual,
Soul/West/Water/Autumn/Emotional,
Mind/North/Air/Winter/Mental.
I see the diversity of my being incorporating learning on all of these levels. I crave experiences that palpably contact my body, ignite the fire of my spirit, touch deeply into the watery blood of my emotional soul and swirl the creativity of my mind. Originally, mental learning represented all learning, thinking outside of this "mental learning" box was a significant point in my development. I invite physical learning in my body through repetition of tasks, through dance and yoga, through contact with lovers. Spiritual learning comes during dharma talks, meditation, and yoga. Emotional learning touches my heart through communication with family, lovers, friends, and community in the dance, conversation or the embrace.
LEAST CHANGE FOR THE GREATEST EFFECT
See optional supplemental article
MY STORY
STANFORD : Make the Least Change for the Greatest Possible Effect
At university, I chose to diversify from math, science and sports to literature, dance, and people. I entered university with fascination for the laws governing the physical world and thought i would be a Physics major. I abandoned learning laws governing the world for patterns and formulas guiding human behavior. I wanted to discuss philosophy, literature and culture. I realized that great writers understand humanity more than modern social scientists wrapping the human experience into experiments. I loved literature; great authors captured themes of life and the human condition. Joyce and Shakespeare were my favorite authors; I took 13 classes on Shakespeare and studied at the Globe Theater the summer that it reopened. Leopold Bloom's exploits as the antihero of Joyce's Ulysses displays the epic journey we metaphorically walk each day -- confronting the bigoted Cyclops lacking multiple perspectives and the rest of the trials that Odysseus sails through on his journey home from Troy. My lens of seeing my life as a story was sharpening. On a physical level, I gave up competitive sports and started doing yoga and taking 1-2 dance classes each quarter. Awareness of my body, incorporating breath, space, and stillness, was growing.
ESALEN: Diversity yields Stability
I moved to Esalen to work in the kitchen; my years at Esalen gave me much more: art, somatic awareness, massage, communication skills, meditation, chi gong--a rounded environment to develop my body, my mind, my heart, and my spirt. I came to cook in a kitchen that valued healthy California style cuisine. In addition, I was increasing my skills at nourishing myself and others through hands-on touch and lifestyle counseling. My yoga practice that began while at Stanford continued developing my body and spirit. Artistic expression was creatively exploding. Emotional process groups connected me to community and my heart. I was beginning my relationship with the Esselen tribe: sweatlodges and vision quests gave me new perspective on prayer and my relationship to creator.
The facilitator of my somatic awareness course entered class the first day and asked "Are you comfortable?" and as everyone in the class shifted and made themselves comfortable, he asked "I would invite you to always ask yourself that question and to feel empowered to always make yourself comfortable." The other jewel I remember receiving in that class was the meditation practice where we consciously stacked our vertebras one atop another from our sacrum to our skull. My posture greatly improved in those years (lengthening in the tubs, yoga, somatic awareness) I took a myriad of hands on healing courses including CranioSacral, Process Acupressure, Zero Balancing, Reike, Trigger Point, Shiatsu and Thai massage. In addition, I have studied Thai massage for several months in Thailand, Ayurvedic massage in India, and Lomi Lomi massage in Hawaii. I left Esalen with a massage certificate of 835 hours.
I felt extremely fortunate that I was able to do the training as a worker living there stretching out the integration time to a four month training rather than squeezing it into 28 days for people who rush the intensive teacher training. I appreciate some intensive classes; however, often, I believe that giving ourselves space and time for absorption and assimilation is crucial especially for something like massage or yoga training that is about integrating the experience.
The spirit of self awareness and self empowerment runs deep at Esalen. Two lessons greatly affected my life; to speak from an "I" perspective and to ask for what I want. This simple invitation inspired in me the realization that if i don't ask for something, I almost certainly won't get it; whereas, if I am willing to become vulnerable and make a request, I often receive what I ask for. This informs self awareness as I can't expect others to give me something that I can't articulate that I want; for the other to make me happy is hoped for all to often in relationship.
JOURNEY THROUGH INDIA: Information as a Resource
I spent 6 months traveling through India in the winter of 2007 - 2008. After over a decade of practice, I did my yoga teacher training at the Sivananda Ashram in Kerala which expanded my view of yoga; each day we studied the Bhagavad Gita (spiritual yoga), sang kirtan (bhakti/heart yoga), studied the philosophy of jnana yoga (mental yoga), and twice daily practiced asana, pranayam and meditation. My body felt strong. My spirit felt connected. My heart felt open. My mind felt focused. Two life lessons have come from my yoga practice. I integrate my experiences more deeply when I allow space and stillness like savasana. Secondly, the perfect amount of effort to apply is to work hard but not compromise my breathing or my form in order to get somewhere. I go as far as I can into each pose while maintaining evenness in breath and mind. In the states, I have taught yoga and laughter yoga classes and co-lead partner yoga retreats (weekends).
I studied Ayurveda through its philosophy, nutritional wisdom and body treatments like massage (and underwent panchakarma treatment for myself). I studied Chakra Balancing with a master yogi. This was a powerful integration for me of the energy flows through my body. Living at Amma's ashram opened my heart to compassion in a new way.
SPRNG CLEANSE: Unknown good benefits
I lead a "Spring Living Foods Cleanse" each year for the staff of Esalen (40 - 50 people) complete with sea vegetables, sprouts, dehydrated treats, fermented vegetables. A cornucopia of fruits and vegetables and wheat grass is available for juicing as well. This is an opportunity to simplify our diets and our lives. Returning to ground zero, I encourage awareness from each participant of how foods make them feel.
PERMACULTURE DESIGN COURSE: All principles
Benjamin Fahrer, who was running the Farm and teaching Permaculture Design Courses at Esalen, was part of the Spring Cleanse in 2009. We became good friends and he asked if I would assist the PDC the following spring. I was already teaching courses on Nutrition, Fermentation, Beekeeping and small scale animal husbandry. Even so, my world was blown open at my first PDC. I truly appreciated the 2 months that we had during our course to absorb what many people do in two weeks. With two hours of class each day and my sole responsibilities to help set up for class and facilitate special needs, consequently I had two months to drink from the standard two week permaculture fire hose. I assisted a second PDC in the fall of 2011 with Benjamin. I fell in love with seed saving, herbalism, soil management and alternative energy.
NON VIOLENT COMMUNICATION & GAZEBO: LEast Change for the Greatest Possible Effect
After assisting the 2011 Permaculture Design Course, I stayed at Esalen for an additional 3 months interning at Gazebo, Esalen's outdoor preschool. In addition to creating space for the little ones to design their lives, I was part of a Non-Violent Communication monthlong course. The communication skills in NVC are very akin to the philosophy of the Gazebo Preschool. We delved into feelings and values and practiced communicating our needs and wants for the month, exactly what we were encouraging in the kids. Powerful opening for me on a heart/emotional level occurred. Some of the fundamental philosophies: Empowering the kids to use their words to resolve conflict and to express their emotions. Creating space for unstructured outdoor play time. What we were trying to teach at Gazebo is empowering little ones to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. NVC encourages empowering people to take responsibility for their feelings and their lives through making clear requests in their communications. Coming from a space of compassion and empathy is paramount in the NVC model; whereas, at Gazebo, we encouraged the kids to come from a space of compassion but it was not explicitly mandated because awareness of the self and one's own feelings were paramount.
I realize that I often feel criticized and this is a 'victim verb' mentality in which I am giving others the power to make me feel criticized. I am consciously attempting to feel compassion for myself and others when I feel criticized as I generally believe that others are simply not skillfully asking for what they want.
WORK
For 15 years, I have been working as a chef, massage therapist and a workshop facilitator. I lead a diverse array of workshops: Yoga, Spring Living Foods Cleanse, Winter Ayurvedic Cleanse, Nutrition, Land of Milk & Honey (Beekeeping & Cheesemaking), Feeding Gaia & Feeding Ourselves (connecting health of planet/soils to our personal health).
SECTION 4 -- ARCHETYPE & IDENTITY
APPLY SELF REGULATION AND ACCEPT FEEDBACK
BLANK SLATE
Awareness of our own personal ecology is where we begin the design of our own life: Zone 0. Allowing me a fresh look at my life not simply through cultural mythologies, instead discerning fulfillment on the level of spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental balance and happiness. I recommend several self awareness techniques to clear the slate. On a physical level, I recommend the elimination diet as a great way to know how different foods affect you. On a spiritual/emotional level, I believe that a ten day silent vipasana retreat is a great way to clear the chatter of our mind and culture and connect with source from a fresh space. Sweat lodges are another incredible clearing tool for spiritual connection with creator and community. I also recommend practices such as yoga.
See 2 Optional Supplemental Articles -Elimination Diet and Hamlet Dilemma
ARCHETYPES
Systems of archetypes are another useful lens of self reflection. Archetypal systems apply language to personality traits and trends/patterns in the human condition. The Ayurvedic Dosha system, Enneagram, and Astrology have all been potent tools of self reflection and awareness for me.
See Optional Supplemental Article Archetypes & Identity
SECTION 5 -- HOW WE LEARN WHAT WE LEARN & WHY
See 3 Optional Supplemental Articles Paths Toward Knowlede, Countermapping The Empire, Common Sense
SECTION 6 -- CONCLUSION : THE HERO'S JOURNEY
My own journey has been one of leaving and releaving the familiar seeking revelation and transformation. The universe has provided me with many helpers and mentors. My wanderlust Sagitarrian Seven spirit eagerly sets out and now, the last leg of the journey, the coming home to share what was beyond the threshold, I walk reluctantly. I am not sure where home is or how to articulate what I have learned. Indeed, my sole learning may be, that each of us must walk our own path for none can teach us what to do but only shine a light upon self awareness and inspire us to journey on. For me it has, indeed, been worth the ride.
INTEGRATE RATHER THAN SEGREGATE --
In the courtyard of our coop at college, my friend Ava, zapped me with her 'yes wand." This yesness that Ava celebrates has given me courage to say yes when I may have taken the seemingly easier route of saying no. The opportunities that life offers is what this life offers. I have experienced time and again that the only regrets i have are the opportunities I didn't seize, where i didn't say yes. Carpe Liam is my motto.
CALIFORNIA CULINARY ACADEMY : Obtain a Yield
Receiving my B.A. in Literature, I felt the dilemma of many graduating with a degree in liberal arts: I did not want to enter the corporate world to sell my time (and soul) for money (and what could I do anyway?). I had managed the kitchen at the 50 person co-op where I lived in college, I had passion for food and nourishing others. I enrolled in the California Culinary Academy. Beyond mastering recipes, I feel very fortunate for the ease that I began to feel cooking any food. Making the best meal out of 'what's in the fridge' is my favorite way to cook. In addition, I learned principles of balanced cooking: seeing a dish in terms of acidity, fat, salt, sweetness, body and top note. I completed CCA with a three month internship at the San Francisco Chronicle, writing articles and book reviews and testing all the recipes that the newspaper printed.
SUPPLEMENTAL
http://www.sfgate.com/recipes/article/Turkey-gravy-2856401.php#ixzz2En2lOmQq
http://www.sfgate.com/food/article/Grilled-cheese-2861211.php
Some crafts I made
ART: Obtain a Yield
There was a tremendous revival at the Art Barn during the decade I was at Esalen: stain glass, fiber arts, metalworking, glass melting, mosaic, vision painting. Here are a few photographs of my early craftmaking and included supplementally is my first art show which happened January of 2012 entitled 'Pause and Be the Roses highlighting macro photography of flowers, constructing a flower petal mandala and flower essence hydrosols.
FLOWER ESSENCES: Everything is Connected
Photography and gardening were my first lenses into the world of flowers. When showing these to a crystal/flower essence healer friend, she commented, “You have a wonderful relationship with the flowers. Would you consider making essences?” Debby then trained me to make flower essences and the energy of flowers is one of the most healing energies in my life. I have much more intimate relationships with each of the flowers from which I have made an essence. (Please check out our web site at www.energybalancing.net -- flower photos and poetry is mine, soon the flower essences will be sold on this site)