Prologue
Her life is driven by one question.
“What is our reason? Is there a reason?”
Perhaps it is a two part, singular question. She is never quite certain of the answer. In fact, she's certain that she's never certain.
Philosophy grabbed her mind as a young girl―she would prowl the woods wondering, “What does nothingness look like? Why can't I comprehend it? What is that deep, empty feeling I get?”
She noticed patterns, symbols, and that grey is just a mix of black and white―there are no absolutes. She remembers the day, strolling alongside her favorite pond in New Hampshire, pondering the possibility of world peace when it dawned on her that she didn't want a perfect world.
“How would we know happiness is so good if we never struggle?” Something inside her seemed to shift and grow, lifting her shoulders, freeing her mind. She was wiser, stronger.
Philosophy. Ironic that her name is derived from the same Greek root sophos. She is on a quest of wisdom and discovery, experience of the good and the bad, perpetual uncertainty and curiosity. The extent to which she loves (philos) herself is yet another quest(ion).
External media
I. Observe and Interact
She can still remember the frog song. "Sophie, sophie"--they seemed to be beckoning her from the pond outside her window on the high school campus where she germinated. She moved to live in the forest, the last house on a dead end dirt road. Papa wanted to work the land and Mama wanted her brother and her to have an Earth-based playground. The first night they moved, they slept on the porch, a dry-lightning storm purple and black scars breaking the sky.
She spent years exploring the woods. Papa put a wooden shipping crate out in a little clearing and it became her spiritual home. She practiced survival skills, rock-hopping along the river as if a Native American. She created her own religion, speaking in tongues to four spirits: Vomo, Kiki, Korianna, and Bambo. She only spoke to them when they appeared in leaf patterns, knots on trees, or stream eddies.
At 11, they moved to Brittany, France, the "End of Earth" as Bretons call it. It was a difficult transition--she spoke basic French and was thrust into the archaic system of schooling. Her free time was spent playing in the bamboo grove creating water sculptures to feed the herb garden. She biked to the beach to climb the sea-weathered rocks, scraping her body on the barnacles as she scaled the curves and divots for a better view of the expansive ocean.
Un/Learning commentary
All this is to say I learned a deep appreciation and sense of connection with all life forms. In high school, I led five day backpacking trips into the White Mountains. I would impart my love of nature to my money-rich, nature-poor peers. I was my favorite version of me.