IX. Creatively Use and Respond to Change
The day Sophie met Adam, she knew that he was her soul mate.
He had picked her up with her best friend Zada alongside a deserted road their third day in New Zealand. They didn't know where they were, and Adam's '84 Toyota Town Ace (or "Tow Ace" as he liked to call it) couldn't make it up the steep hill, so he drove down an unfamiliar road. It had just begun pouring cold rain as they climbed into the van through the back gate--the side door fell off each time it was opened. Sophie sat amongst the surfboards, the shells, the guitar and books, staring at Adam's cheeky smile and giddy mannerisms.
They asked to be dropped off at a beach where they could rest for the night and cook a nice meal over a beach fire.
"Oh, I usually sleep out at All Day Bay, it's quiet and beautiful. You got a tent?"
"No, but we have a tarpaulin and some string."
"Ha! You'll have a tough time in Aotearoa weather. I'll give you mine."
They pulled into the beach after a twenty minute ride, far from any homes and artificial noise. Adam set up his A-frame tent in the rain, insisting that they keep it until they saw him next. He proceeded to build a bonfire on the beach to dry out their sopping clothes. Sophie stared in awe as rain poured and yet the fire roared. Never before had she been witness to such magic--how he danced!
They ate a fiery feast and heard heartfelt stories of his family and his adventures. Sophie had never been so mesmerized. Suddenly it was early in the morning and Adam had work just hours later. They said goodnight and he slipped into his van.
Climbing into the tent, Sophie determined aloud, "I am going to marry this man." Zada scoffed and bid good dreams. Just as she drifted into sleep, an image of Adam's crow-footed eyes and full-faced smile appeared. And suddenly, a skull came screaming forth, passing through his face and vanishing the image.
In the morning, they hurried to his work at a five-star restaurant and whiskey hall. He was deciphering a chess puzzle in the newspaper, barefoot and drinking tea. They climbed back into the van, more comfortable now, and drove to a field of giant white flowers, lying on their backs and hiding from the burning sun until evening came.
The next day, they had no water. Sophie had noticed a well in the field of alpacas up the road, so she and Adam went to examine it. He trusted her judgement, mentioned her resourcefulness, and laughed in delight as she took the first sips.
Skipping back, barefooted, he grabbed a handful of daisies and made a wreath. They fell in the grass adjacent to one another, plucking blades and staring bashfully at their hands. When Adam lifted his head and kissed her, she was free.
Zada and Sophie reluctantly left the next day with Adam's tent. They walked up the same steep hill the Tow Ace couldn't climb, agreeing to meet a month later for the solstice.
There was no doubt in either of their minds that they would be together. After Christmas, it was decided that they would live in the van in Kaikoura. Zada left for India and Sophie continued her gypsy life with Adam. Every day was magic, often full of struggle, always full of love. They read Lord of the Rings to each other, and just as she had worn a daisy crown, he made her his Goldbrille, and he her Tom Bombadil. They cooked over a fire, carved shells into spoons, picked wild fruit and delivered it to strangers, and wrote songs about beauty. It was heaven on Earth.
Six months after she returned home to work and begin school, Adam bought his tickets to America. He hated America, but agreed to live at a farm near Smith College and see what a realistic life together would entail.
The morning of his departure, Sophie was woken by her parents rushing to her bedside, crying. Adam was dead--the skeleton of their van was found and everything inside was ashes.
In a tiny blurb of a journal entry from just ten days before moving into the van with Adam, Sophie had written, "I have a great fear of Adam dying. I don't know what would do without him. But I know it is coming."
Un/Learning commentary
Since Adam's death, I have been happier than ever before. I am more passionate, loving and kind, giving and present. His death was a catalyst: I had a choice to shut down and out, or to accept and solve. I feared at first that he had left with all of my love and I'd never be able to love the same way. It dawned on me soon after that he had also given me all of his love, a powerful, rounded love, and for this I am grateful. I decided that he left for a reason. It is a way of coping, a way of continuing the plot of my story. And when I learned the Permaculture principles, I discovered that another way of saying, "Everything happens for a reason," is, "The problem is the solution." I have found solution after solution, joy after joy, in this disguised gift. Thank you Adam.